jokes bad or otherwise.
- Thread starter George
- Start date
Here's eight jokes maybe only Scots will understand...
1. A Glasgow woman goes to the dentist and settles down in the chair.
"Comfy?" asks the dentist.
"Govan," she replies.
2. How many Spanish guys does it take to change a light bulb?
Just Juan.
3.Did you hear about the lonely prisoner?
He was in his cell.
4. After announcing he was getting married, a boy tells his pal he will be wearing the kilt.
"And what's the tartan?" asks his mate.
"Oh, she'll be wearing a white dress," he replies.
5. Ten cows in a field. Which one is closest to Iraq?
Coo eight.
6. A teenage girl phones her dad at midnight and says: "Can you come and get me? I've missed the last bus and it's pouring with rain."
"Okay," says her dad. "Where are you ringing from?"
The girl replies: "From the top of my head right down to my knickers".
7. What did the Siamese twins from Glasgow call their autobiography?
Oor Wullie.
8. A man takes a pair of shoes back to the shop and complains that there is a lace missing.
"No", argues the assistant, "look at that - it says Taiwan".
1. A Glasgow woman goes to the dentist and settles down in the chair.
"Comfy?" asks the dentist.
"Govan," she replies.
2. How many Spanish guys does it take to change a light bulb?
Just Juan.
3.Did you hear about the lonely prisoner?
He was in his cell.
4. After announcing he was getting married, a boy tells his pal he will be wearing the kilt.
"And what's the tartan?" asks his mate.
"Oh, she'll be wearing a white dress," he replies.
5. Ten cows in a field. Which one is closest to Iraq?
Coo eight.
6. A teenage girl phones her dad at midnight and says: "Can you come and get me? I've missed the last bus and it's pouring with rain."
"Okay," says her dad. "Where are you ringing from?"
The girl replies: "From the top of my head right down to my knickers".
7. What did the Siamese twins from Glasgow call their autobiography?
Oor Wullie.
8. A man takes a pair of shoes back to the shop and complains that there is a lace missing.
"No", argues the assistant, "look at that - it says Taiwan".
barmpot
LOTSW Fanatic
The supervisor of my work section recently made a casual comment about my
shaggy mane of hair.
He then went on to extol the virtues of a good haircut, which, he insisted,
makes an elderly man look younger and a younger man seem more mature.
"How would a haircut make a middle-aged man like me appear?" I asked.
"Still employed," was his answer.
shaggy mane of hair.
He then went on to extol the virtues of a good haircut, which, he insisted,
makes an elderly man look younger and a younger man seem more mature.
"How would a haircut make a middle-aged man like me appear?" I asked.
"Still employed," was his answer.
