Favourite lines from the show

George

Super Moderator
What are your favourite lines from the show ?
Compo to Blamire "Give us a fag and I'll let you waggle me loose tooth"
 
Green Fingers
Compo "En Garde varlet"
Clegg "Don't you call me Violet"

Man from Oswestry
Compo "It was just a game we played.I used to cadge his fags,he used to complain.But he knew he could always borrow one of mine"
Sid "True,providing he had a pin to hold it with"

When you take a good bite.....
Seymour complaining about Compo's sqeaky bike "Can't you do something about that dam squeak"
Compo "I am doing something"
Seymour "What?"
Compo "I'm ignoring it"
 
Who made a bit of a splash in Wales,then?
Compo "Don't worry Foggy,he should be able to hit that space between them posts.After all he hit that cyclist and you should've seen how small he was."
Small tune on a penny wassail
Foggy "This floor is covered in nut shells"
Compo "Oh stop looking at your nuts and look at your watch"
 
The mobile trio
Compo "this is Walter"
Clegg "His dog rides a bike"
Walter "No it doesn't missus......he keeps falling off"

Isometrics and after
Foggy "What do you call flashes in front of the eyes?"
Clegg "Indecent exposure?"
 
Blamire to Compo "Hey what did you want to be at 11"
Compo "Heavy smoker"

Northern Flying circus
After Compo made his nose bleed hitting himself with his goggles
Compo "Has it stopped?"
Clegg "Well,I can't hear it ticking"
 
All time best line is between Nora & wally though can't remember which episode.

Nora - sitting in sidecar, "Talk to me then, you never talk to me"
Wally - " I talked to you yesterday didn't I"

Gets a wallop on the head from Nora's bag. (You have to see it to get full laughter value !! )
 
I totally agree Mudanzas,I loved the scenes with Nora and Wally especially the Christmas episode 'Small tune on a penny wassail'
Wally "Why don't you sit down Nora,you've been on your mouth all day"
 
The woollen mills of your mind
Nora "How good is your hearing?"
Wally "Oh I've got good hearing"
Nora "Are you sure you've got good hearing?"
Wally "What?"
Sheer class and brilliantly delivered
 
Nora "That one next door to me collects ferrets"
Glenda "That's not very Hygienic"
Edie "I suppose they've got used to him"
 
Cheering up Gordon
Nora "You're on holiday"
Wally "Not really,if you'd come on your own then I'd have been on holiday.Remember that lovely fortnight when you went to nurse your mother?"
 
Full Steam Behind
Foggy pointing to a steam engine "Look at that beauty"
Clegg "Look at what ? I can't see anything for that steam engine"

Foggy "I ran into Arnold Watts"
Clegg "I told you he was a taxi driver"
Foggy "No I ran into him on foot"
Clegg "You can't win with taxi drivers,they miss you with a vehicle,they get out and trample you to death"
 
Downhill racer
As the trio try riding a bike with a fir tree
Clegg "Does it have cones?"
Seymour "It's not big enough to have cones"
Clegg "Then I dread to think what's just dropped off"

Foggy "I didn't waste my time in the army you know.I took advantage of the further education courses"
Compo "I took advantage of Gloria Pendlebury"
Clegg "I thought there was always a queue?"
Compo "Only in the war"
 
A Leg up for Christmas
Howard "I should never have watched that film,it was Arnold Schwarzenegger.Then when I went to bed I caught sight of meself in the mirror.Hello I thought...that's not Arnold Schwarzenegger ."

Compo "He's worried Marina will find him small and weedy"
Clegg "He never used to worry about it ."
Compo "Aye but that's before he saw Arnold Schwarzenvinegar ."
 
Ivy "I don't know you make me so mad .If I'd had kids"
Sid "What makes you think your aim'll be any better throwing kids"
 
Of Funerals and Fish
Blamire "To think he used to bully me life out"
Clegg "Did you?"
Compo "Well he had that velvet suit"
Clegg "You didn't did you?
Blamire "Well me mam wanted to give me a start in life"
Clegg "I'd have thought you'd need a fifty yard start in Hardwick Street in a velvet suit"
 
Bicycle Bonanza
Compo "She's a tough nut that auntie...I wonder if she's ever been mugged."
Clegg "Last year she caught a thief on her premises."
Compo "What happened ?"
Clegg "She sold him a piano."
 
Hail Smiling Morn ....
Blamire "Listening to him eat a bag of crisps is like listening to the Durham Light Infantry marching on thin ice."
Compo "Me mam used to like them with pickled onions."
Clegg "The Durham Light Infantry ?....I never knew that."
 
Getting Barry higher in the world
Compo "She's game is that Marina....I wonder what sign she was born under."
Clegg "Well it wasn't no trespassing."
 
Stop that Bath
Clegg "I was just an innocent bystander."
Policeman "You were holding one of his legs."
Clegg "You hold one leg and people think you're mugging someone."
 
Mending Stuarts Leg
Miss Moody "Have you ever been to Red China Mr Wainwright?"
Wainwright "No most weekends I take a run into Huddersfield."
 
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