Who made a bit of a splash in Wales,then?
Compo "Don't worry Foggy,he should be able to hit that space between them posts.After all he hit that cyclist and you should've seen how small he was."
Small tune on a penny wassail
Foggy "This floor is covered in nut shells"
Compo "Oh stop looking at your nuts and look at your watch"
Full Steam Behind
Foggy pointing to a steam engine "Look at that beauty"
Clegg "Look at what ? I can't see anything for that steam engine"
Foggy "I ran into Arnold Watts"
Clegg "I told you he was a taxi driver"
Foggy "No I ran into him on foot"
Clegg "You can't win with taxi drivers,they miss you with a vehicle,they get out and trample you to death"
As the trio try riding a bike with a fir tree
Clegg "Does it have cones?"
Seymour "It's not big enough to have cones"
Clegg "Then I dread to think what's just dropped off"
Foggy "I didn't waste my time in the army you know.I took advantage of the further education courses"
Compo "I took advantage of Gloria Pendlebury"
Clegg "I thought there was always a queue?"
Compo "Only in the war"
A Leg up for Christmas
Howard "I should never have watched that film,it was Arnold Schwarzenegger.Then when I went to bed I caught sight of meself in the mirror.Hello I thought...that's not Arnold Schwarzenegger ."
Compo "He's worried Marina will find him small and weedy"
Clegg "He never used to worry about it ."
Compo "Aye but that's before he saw Arnold Schwarzenvinegar ."
Of Funerals and Fish
Blamire "To think he used to bully me life out"
Clegg "Did you?"
Compo "Well he had that velvet suit"
Clegg "You didn't did you?
Blamire "Well me mam wanted to give me a start in life"
Clegg "I'd have thought you'd need a fifty yard start in Hardwick Street in a velvet suit"
Hail Smiling Morn ....
Blamire "Listening to him eat a bag of crisps is like listening to the Durham Light Infantry marching on thin ice."
Compo "Me mam used to like them with pickled onions."
Clegg "The Durham Light Infantry ?....I never knew that."