jokes bad or otherwise.


Staff member
The Goldberg Brothers - The Inventors of the automobile Air Conditioner
Here's a little known fact for automotive buffs, or just to dazzle your friends. The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Maxwell, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.
The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter.
Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car. They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees inside, turned on the air conditioner, and cooled the car off immediately.
The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent.
The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a label, 'The Goldberg Air-Conditioner,' on the dashboard of each car in which it was installed.
Now old man Ford was more than just a little anti-Jewish, and there was no way he was going to put the Goldberg's name on two million Fords.
They haggled back and forth for about two hours and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names would be shown...

And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show -- Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max -- on the controls.

captain clutterbuck

LOTSW Fanatic
Sorry Terry not only is there a patent on the air conditioning unit in Ford Cars I took one out on the Joke which I published on the 4th of January if you go back a couple of pages . Whilst comedians often purloin gags from others it does go beyond the pale . Whilst I could charge you for the patent I consulted with one of the Group Administrators and Pearl has accepted my invitation to administer the levy in the form of a forfeit, so sorry to say but retribution is on its way [I'm a poet and I didn't know it ] :08:;)

Electrical Entwistle

Dedicated Member
Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers were dining in New York. Ginger was resplendent in a ball gown and pearls, and Fred also sported evening wear. But the meal was marred when the waiter bringing their desserts tripped and covered Fred from head to toe in treacle pudding. “I’m terribly sorry,” said the waiter. “So you should be,” replied Fred. “Thanks to you, I’ve pudding on my top hat, pudding on my white tie, pudding on my tails.”

captain clutterbuck

LOTSW Fanatic
Across the breakfast table, the young boy squints at his great grandfather.

"Pop," he says, "You're really old."

The old man chuckles. "I certainly am, son."

"How old are you Pop?"

"Why, I'm eighty-nine."

"Wow." the boy is impressed. "How did you get that old, Pop?"

"Well son, I'll tell you." The old man's faces grows serious, and glances to each side conspiratorially. He leans in and fixes his great grandson with a steely look. "Here's the secret. Every morning, I sprinkle a little gunpowder on my porridge l. I don't know how, but it's kept me fit and healthy all my life."

The boy takes his great grandfather's advice, and indeed it works remarkably. The boy grew up and left behind 4 children, 9 grandchildren, 22 great-grandchildren .................................. and a 16 foot hole in the crematorium wall.

captain clutterbuck

LOTSW Fanatic
Beads of sweat were running down her cleavage. Her breathing was hot and heavy.

She moaned as she gained momentum by rocking her hips harder and harder, preparing for the final climactic effort she knew was coming soon.

Then, in one final full-body thrust, it was all over, and she breathed a deep sigh of relief and satisfaction.

It's always a struggle when the missus gets up off the sofa. :oops::13::08:

Oh Matron!

captain clutterbuck

LOTSW Fanatic
Sherlock Holmes and Watson are at the Concert Hall watching an Orchestra

All of a sudden, a high- pitched trumpet was heard. The auditorium went silent. Holmes whispered to Watson "Who do you think played the wrong note?"

"I think it was the tuba player", Watson replied.

"How do you figure that?", asked Holmes, confused.

"Why, the man broke wind , and it came out high-pitched, so it carried" Watson explained.

"Ah ! "Holmes said. "A veritable Ass-toot observation, my good sir."