Quotable Arkwright.....

Arkwright's last words in his very last episode...

It's funny how helpless you feel dangling inches beneath the area's finest bosom and not a thing you can get a safe hold on, and believe me, I did try. Even in the depths of a very real predicament, I did try.
Whilst talking to Nurse Gladys about getting married Gladys enquires " Have you Really thought about it ??"
Arkwright " Think about it are you joking I think about it all the time I'll give you an example but this musn't go any further! "
" I was in the shop the other day serving Mrs Ellis with 6 oz of Smokey bacon "
Glady's " I love the comparison me and bacon!!"
Arkwright "You haven't heard the worse yet, I didn't realise until she'd gone , I let her walk out of the door with 6 oz of primed smoked back bacon!"
" ....................... and I'd only charged her for 4 !!!! "
I mean, how can you look debonair in a pinny?!
I saw the way things were going when you put r--racing transfers on your cycle clips!
I noticed when Sean Connery left, the trouble they had finding a new Bond,
I never heard my name whispered about.
I bet they never said, "Why don't we get Granville?" All I ever get is, "Granville, f--fetch your cloth!"
Listen, just mount your powerful, single--seater, gleaming black, sinister machine,
Double--0 heck?!
Get these deliveries off round the town.
Mrs Blewitt [our Nora] is buying a quarter of rice spots the Free Gift sign and asks Arkwright what it is . He replies its a container that comes in a number of colours asks if she has a favourite but he puts the rice in a brown paper bag charges her 16p and hands it over . She enquires " Where's my free gift? " . Arkwright replies I took the liberty of choosing it for you its the bag . "The bag !!!" Well it comes in other colours would you prefer white to match the rice or black to match the mood on your face.
Granville:- " I should be a fighter pilot flying at 30000 ft mach 6 but I imagine I'd miss the important news that George Madely got a first for his Brussel Sprouts can see them relaying that over the squawk box " .

Lifting the shirt sleeve he is ironing taking an imaginary pulse . " I'm sorry Mr Madely but you leg is so bad it will have to come off but don't worry we've managed to save you brussel sprouts!!"
Prior to that the Nurse saying " I can't marry you I can't leave me mother she's so frail . Arkwright " Well just leave her on a Park Bench then " Nurse punches him. Arkwright says her mother is such an ogre even her father left her . Nurse "He was killed in the War :mad: " Arkwright " Well there you go amazing the lengths he went to to get away!!"