Quotable Arkwright.....

I can't cut it in half Mavis. It all f--flops out. I Tell you what. I'll sell you a large tin but only charge you for two small tins.
 
The episode with Gupta kills me when Arkwright flogs him the clothes horses when he says Ye Gods what is it a pre-fabricated chicken coup and then he asks if they can deliver . Arkwright says yes , Granville get on your Troika . Throughout the episode the lines Roy Clarke wrote are just the best . Sadly there are elements which whilst comic could be deemed racist. When it was broadcast I don't remember any furore about it but in today's world there probably would be , though closeted away on UK Gold I doubt many new viewers would be watching likely to be fans of the show .
 
In the mystical boudoir episode when Arkwright drops the freezer on his foot he bellows " Ive crushed me Fur me Fur " after the exchange with Nurse Gladys he says "I shall never get near the Bedroom of Nurse Gladys" Granville responds " Not much point of you've crushed your Fur!"
 
When the lady comes in with the dog "Would Suki like some steak?? She can almost talk Mr Arkwright" Arkwright replies " there another one can do that well at least I think he can he keeps leaving little messages on the doorstep"
 
In the same episode as Suki , Mrs Blewett our very own Nora is being asked Arkwright what her husband does and she replies " He smokes Endless cigarettes " to which Arkwright replies "Oh we don's stack that brand they were too long to get through the shop door"
 
The wedding episode was on today filled with absolute gems . Granville is ironing Arkwright's suit for the wedding and says its much easier than his old suit which was so shiny the iron kept slipping then asks what happened to that old suit Arkwright replies " The Nurse made me give it away to War on Want , there is some tribesman dressed in pinstripe suit wondering why he keeps slipping of his Camel" :)
 
There is an episode where Arkwright is on an advertising campaign an he adds an arm/pointing finger to his old ice cream sign which he puts in the road beside Gladys's car pointing as she gets in. When she pushes him in disgust with what he has done he backs into the sign and the pointed finger sticks in his backside . Gladys retorts " I bet that's painful and not the easiest place to put a sticking plaster!!"
 
Love your reminders here CC, going to a OAH back to my viewing list forgotten just what comic genius it was....
 
In today's lesson on selling for Granville , Arkwright drags a man into the shop on the pretence he has something in his eye , the man suggests that if he pulls his top down and jiggles his bottom [eye lid of course] then it might help to which Arkwright replies who do you think I am Gypsy Rose Lee ! priceless.
 
Its the show that keeps giving today its the Ginger cake caper starts with Granville kicking off about being an errand boy when he thinks he is an assistant manager executive . Arkwright replies " That very much depends on how much Ja-Ja-Ja-m-m-m-ai-c-c-can G-G-G-Ginger C-C-Cake you can sell " to which Granville replies " I bet I can sell it quicker than you can say it and anyway the cake has never been anywhere near Jamaica " Arkwright responds " Well we sell Mars Bars" :)
 
Watching the news now about hot cross buns triggered a memory of something Arkwright said . He takes a phone call and utters " You bought some currant buns and you found a fly in one , well if you bring it back we'll exchange it for a currant." :)
 
captain clutterbuck said:
The episode with Gupta kills me when Arkwright flogs him the clothes horses when he says Ye Gods what is it a pre-fabricated chicken coup and then he asks if they can deliver . Arkwright says yes , Granville get on your Troika . Throughout the episode the lines Roy Clarke wrote are just the best . Sadly there are elements which whilst comic could be deemed racist. When it was broadcast I don't remember any furore about it but in today's world there probably would be , though closeted away on UK Gold I doubt many new viewers would be watching likely to be fans of the show .
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The funny thing about that is my daughter in law is Indian and she watch that and found it hilarious. She loved it.
 
The Mobile Store like other episodes has so many great lines but the one as the credit roll kills me every time . " Fancy asking Wavery Mavis to ring 999 , the Operator asked which Service do you require Police, Ambulance or Fire Brigade and that was it , the van was too far gone"
 
Well due to the shoplifting habits of some ne'er do wells, here across the pond; some stores have moved back in time, so to speak and now sell most of their goods, behind the counter aka the Arkwright model. Now all they need is a shopkeeper with a serious stammer.
 
I like the episode when Granville rebels discards the pinny and replaces it with a bright shirt open to the waste and adorns himself with a chain and cocoa lid as a medallion . Whilst he is chatting to Jellytot Julie at the counter about his image change after Julie notices the change he says "Oh these old clothes , they are just something I threw on " Arkwright walks past and utters "I think you missed!"
 
Adanor said:
Well due to the shoplifting habits of some ne'er do wells, here across the pond; some stores have moved back in time, so to speak and now sell most of their goods, behind the counter aka the Arkwright model. Now all they need is a shopkeeper with a serious stammer.
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I've been in a few newsagents & off licences in shall we say some of the more 'livelier' parts of Liverpool as a pal of mine was at Uni there. Some of them are like museum exhibits, you walk into what is like a glass cage, so you can see the provisions on the other side of the glass and the shop keeper has to get what you point to. I hasten to add I don't mean to be disrespectful to anyone from Liverpool as I'm sure these sort of shops can be found in other parts of the UK.
 
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