jokes bad or otherwise.

'Service' explained !

I became confused when I heard the word 'service' used with these agencies:

Banking 'Service'

Postal 'Service'

Telephone 'Service'

Pay TV 'Service'

State & Public 'Service'

Customer 'Service'

Bureaucratic 'Service'

This is not what I thought 'Service' meant.

Then I visited my uncle, he's a farmer, and he hired a bull to'Service' his cows.

Suddenly it all became clear.

Now I understand what all those agencies are doing to us !
 
maltrab said:
A man and woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant. They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands.
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The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the woman slowly sliding down her chair, under the table and under the table cloth but the man stared straight ahead. ​
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The waitress watched as the woman slid all the way down her chair and totally out of sight under the tablecloth.. Still, the man stared straight ahead. ​
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The waitress, thinking this behavior a bit risqué and worried that it might offend other diners,went over to the table and, tactfully, began by saying to the man:​
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"Pardon me sir, but I think your wife just slid under the table." ​
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The man calmly looked up at her and said: ​
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"No she didn't, she just walked in."​
Click to expand...
I don't remember this scene showing Howard, Marina and Pearl in LOTSW. :)
 
Knock knock !...……………….Who's there ?
Thermos , ………………………..Thermos who?
Thermos be better knock knock jokes than these :fp:
 
I called a friend and asked what they were doing.

The reply: I am working on "aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminium, and steel under a constrained environment."

I was impressed...

Upon further inquiring, I learned that my friend was washing dishes with hot water under supervision of their partner.
 
An older couple is lying in bed one morning, having just awakened from a good night's sleep. He takes her hand and she responds, "Don't touch me."

"Why not?" he asks.

She answers back, "Because I'm dead."

The husband says, "What are you talking about? We're both lying here in bed together and talking to one another."

She says, "No, I'm definitely dead."

He insists, "You're not dead. What in the world makes you think you're dead?"

"Because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts."
 
A sales rep, an administration clerk and their manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a genie comes out in a puff of smoke.

The genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.

In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.

"Okay, you're up," the genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
 
barmpot said:
I called a friend and asked what they were doing.

The reply: I am working on "aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminium, and steel under a constrained environment."

I was impressed...

Upon further inquiring, I learned that my friend was washing dishes with hot water under supervision of their partner.
Click to expand...
Political Correctness at its best.:)
 
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