jokes bad or otherwise.

Don't get married. Find a woman you hate and buy her a house. It's a lot easier on you.
 
I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming, terrified, like his passengers.
 
Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist? A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from. :)sorry
 
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
 
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it
 
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
 
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