jokes bad or otherwise.

A driver stopped and asked a fella if there was a 24 hour garage in the area.
He said, "No,but there's one that's been here for years."
 
When you are putting up decorations this Christmas,don't worry if you drop a drawing pin.You will find it!!
 
I was at an archaeological dig where they had uncovered a skeleton believed to be that of a young man from around the Neolithic period.
"I wonder how he died?" asked one of the archaeologists.
"Well," I said, "judging by the 3 tonnes of dirt you just lifted off, I'd say he suffocated!"
 
What should you do when you see a green man at a pelican crossing?
Phone the police because he's probably been dead for weeks.
 
I'm hopeless with computers so I called my son to fix my computer for the fifth time today.
"This just isn't on!" he snapped, flicking the power switch.
 
Scrooge will be flying out to Germany this Christmas to avoid the usual stick he gets around that time of the year.
He's going BA Hamburg
 
I used to work for a really tight fisted carpenter.
He used to check my fingers for splinters to make sure I wasn't stealing.
 
I have to confess I got so sick of the trick or treaters that I turned the lights out and pretended I wasn't in.
Sod the ships. My lighthouse, my rules.
 
My wife says I'm the laziest person she's ever met,She told me a joke but I didn't get it.
She had to get it for me.
 
As I sat there in the hospital waiting area, I noticed a sign that said, 'CCTV In Operation'
I thought to myself, "I hope it's Ok."
 
Last night, I thought it would be funny to try and impress people by pulling the cloth from a table without breaking anything.
Far from being impressed,they threw me out of the snooker club.
 
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