Here's one for you married, or indeed those with a significant other, Dog owners on the site [especially you Peri as you have recently acquired one and you may wish to justify it in your own mind to combat any objections from the good lady]
1.The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
4. A dog’s parents never visit.
5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
6. You never have to wait for a dog; they’re ready to go 24 hours a day.
7. Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk.
8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, “If I died, would you get another dog?”
10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
11. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad. They just think it’s interesting.
12. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
And last, but not least:
13. If a dog leaves, it won’t take half of your stuff.
An old married couple are travelling to Australia for a month's holiday . Half way through the flight the Captain comes on the tannoy to announce that the engines have failed and that they will have to make an emergency landing however , they had found an uncharted island where they could land.
After ten minutes they land on the beach and the crew and passengers set off to look for supplies and shelter . The old couple Bill and Freda sit down on the shore to recover from the ordeal. Bill asks Freda " You know the Visa bill for £4000 that covers this holiday and the things we bought did you pay it? " "No Dear" Freda replies .
" You know that outstanding VAT bill we had from the Tax Man that we had to pay for the goods we sold in our business before we retired have you paid that ? " " No Dear" Freda replies at which Bill grabs Freda and kisses her amorously "Thank you Darling I know we are going to be saved they will definitely find us"