Moggie Moo
Dedicated Member
GLUVINE, CHEESE AND CAKE, THROUGH A PORT HOLE TO A CHRISTMAS PASSED
Episode 1
Blamire tipped his hat at the cherub floating passed him as he walked down the old dirt road to Beck Bottom. He approached the old grit stone wall inquisitively looking at his pidgeon holed section.There seemed to be something extra in it today. The other sections names were blurred out so he never knew who they belonged to but the contents of his, marked 'Blamire', today had a shine and glowing exuberance to be sure he did not miss it. Instead of the usual can of Mackeson Stout, a packet of Players, £5 spending money and a cheese sandwich, there was an extra issue of each of the latter. Scratching his head he thought that it must be double rations today being Christmas Day Tomorrow. He had not had a memo with his boiled egg at breakfast about any change to his circumstances, so it was a bit of a mystery but he had still not got his head around all this sacramental stuff, so he could have missed some other sign. He opened his coat and put the cigs in his inside blazer pocket. Fastening his gaberdine overcoat against the frost, he put the stout and sandwiches evenly in the pockets. Adusting the hang of his coat he set about his walk towards the old iron foot bridge at Beck Bottom Ford. It was something he did every day. He did not know why, he just did in fact he never had any thoughts of not doing it. He stopped to light up a Players and as he cupped the flame around the end of his cig something caught his eye. There up ahead, a pair of wellingtons swinging backwards and forwards just above the water at the ford. "Blood and stomache pills" he muttered to himself "it can't be", as he slowly moved forward to get a better look. Crouching now with his head to one side, causing the smoke from his cig to sting his left eye, some more of this "can't be" apparition came into view. With the clarity of his view restricted to one eye he did recognise the holes in the trousers of this scepter as his cig dropped from his lips. It can't be something horrible and tatty like a certain Herbet from Holmfirth he asked himself. Surely someone would have given him an overhauling before letting him loose in an heavenly atmosphere. It wasn't to be, there sat on the bridge in brown herringbone, unabashed dishevelment complete with green woolley hat and life time member of the national assistance party was his old mate Compo. " Ye Gods! and I say that with respect oh high one, what the flaming hell are you doing here" coughed Blamire as he dried his smoke induced teary eye. " Oh its you" replied Compo sluffly." Pardon me for getting a whiff but after all these years its good to see you too, Do you want a fag? I can see your full of enthusiasm, oh! and you haven't got a ferret in there have you" said Blamire enquiringly offering his packet of Players." Its not right" murmured Compo as he took out a cig and placed the packet in his pocket. Rolling his eyes it was now the penny dropped for Blamire about why he had got the extra rations " Here, a can of stout and a cheese sandwich get that down ya and tell me all about it" said Blamire as he sat down beside him.
" When I first came here" said Compo after swallowing some of his cheese sandwich."They wouldn't let me in the posh bit with my ferret because it had to go in the animal section. I said listen Elsie where my ferret goes I go. So Eric the gate keeper pointed to the left and I ended up down Preservation Street.There's Perpetual Pete's betting shop at the end so I went in there. I mean you know me I like a bet but I never lost! I thought it was great at first but when I went for my winnings the lass on the pay out said all winnings were donated to the church roof funds. I mean if I am gonna lose my money I want to do it fairly with some rivalry other wise there's no point. I've got to have a reason to get up, that is when I've found my bed." sighed Compo. "You mean your homeless" retorted Blamire, "strooth whats the world coming to when even in the after life you can't depend on charity. Well I personally had a clause put into my gas board pension about such an occurance. Old Baden Powell told us scouts to be always prepared" scoffed Blamire lighting up another cig."Come on sup up we're off, tuck your shirt flap in, I know where we can get you sorted" directed Blamire. They set off up the cobbled lane, Compo head down and hands in his pocket whilst Blamire with his air of authority marched upright to the top of the lane. He looked at his watch, and Compo laughed out " You haven't changed Mildred, are we sychronised then?" " It'll be here in a minute, Blakey's bus" scorned Blamire."Who's Blakey then? do I know him" " " In a manner of speaking you may know him, although he his on a different wave length to you and I "replied Blamire." Oh an ex matelot, I always knew you had naval connections" joked Compo. Blamire gave him his wide eyed gaze of disdain as the bus came around the corner. Compo looked at him with that unshaven smile and as the bus drew up the doors hissed open he shouted out "Its smilers cousin, Blakey,how you doing my old luv, give us two tickets to where he's taking me." Blamire cringed and shook his head as they boarded the bus." Oh no I've heard about him, any trouble and I'll put you off this bus" groaned Blakey. Blamire dragged him to a seat in the lower saloon. After a few minutes Compo's eyes began to feel heavy as he began to doze off. In his head he could hear angelic brass band music of the type the Savation Army played at Christmas but it wasn't a carol or an hymn, it was Chattanooga Choo Choo and has he opened his eyes he heard a womans voice singing the words "Chattanooga Choo Choo won't you choo choo me home" as a pair of wrinkled stockinged legs appeared on the steps from the upper saloon." It can't be" gasped Compo sitting up from his slumped position and as she began to sing the chorus again, he stood up in a joyous mood now with his arms in the air he shouted " Nora Nora won't you choo choo me home", at which point Nora the clippy had appeared in full view. As Compo tried to embrace her she exclaimed " Whats he doing here? Get him off, When they set me on they said nothing about giving tickets to drunken lay abouts and womanisers. If I'd known I would have had to deal with him on a daily basis I would have brought and kept a brush in the luggage compartment for such emergencies, its the only way you can control him. All thats between me and him is this ticket machine, make him sit down, make him sit down, I'll punch his ticket in a minute." Blamire was beaming a smile as he got up saying " I'm sorry madam, he's an unfortunate soul thats left his manners at home this morning and he does tend to get over excited when we let him out for the day" as he ushered Compo back into the seat next to the window, then he sat at the end to block him in. In his state of exhilaration Compo cried " Nora Nora if only I knew all the angels were as beautiful as you I would have been here earlier" and with that he sat back with an ecstatic expression in silence. Nora meanwhile had gone back up stairs where she ajusted her ticket machine, smoothed down her uniform and rearranged her head scarf as a smile crept on to her face. Looking up she whispered "thank you".
They both nodded off as the bus had droned on the top moorland roads when Blamire felt an hand shaking his shoulder. " Come on you two, I've gotta get this bus out on time, your at Piece Hall" groaned Blakey as he stood over them. His hitleresk tache forced a question from Compo,"Were you ever a butler or a gasman? you seem to ring a bell" " No and I would thank you to get your mate and get yourselves moving as I have schedules to keep" roared Blakey manhandling them off the bus. As they were ejected from the bus they stood on the pavement a few seconds as Blamire dusted down his cuffs from the affray and as the bus drove off Compo gave Blakey the victory sign.The street was dark except for the amber glow of the single street lamp where Blamire looked around and cursed "We've missed our stop and its a long walk back" " You know Mavis, just like that time we went canoeing and you lost the flaming canoe, I mean how can you lose a canoe" exclaimed Compo. Just as they were getting into an argument about shipping losses a landrover pickup pulled up beside them." How do lads! need a lift" came the bespectacled voice out of the cab." Hi ya Wesley, this over officious twit missed our stop" interjected Compo before Blamire could open his mouth." I was merely assessing the situation before coming to any conclusion. As one does with important things, like tax forms and the like, but unlike certain individuals who never worked for a living that would be strange ground for them."retorted Blamire."Strange ground, strange ground" laughed Compo," Strange ground for you would be going to the bar to get a round in" chuckled Compo and as Blamire looked aghast, Wesley interupted the foraying with, "Well nothing changes thats for sure, eh up! we're here". Blamire got out first and Compo slid across the seat then he turned to Wesley " thanks Wes, and its good to see you", " thanks Compo likewise, I had to come this way, our Edie sent me down to the station to pick her sister Roz up." With that Compo shut the landrover door and waved back at Wesley.
Stood on the pavement Blamire said in a soft voice to Compo " We got her Bulletin yesterday" "For the life in me I can't understand why I never got yours. Perhaps some tatty Herbet used it to write his winners down for the bookies" he added. Compo shrugged his shoulders chuckling " Oh, thats what it was." as they walked around the corner. There in front of them was the white glow from the window of the Hygienic Fisheries. Compo stopped, uttering "chuffing eck! I can't go in there, he barred me in 1939" "What for " smirked Blamire twirling his moustache." I can't remember, I think it was the time I'd been frogging up at Outhwaites Brewery dam. When he used to keep the salt and vinegar pots on the shelf above the pans. I put my jar of frogs next to the salt to put my vinegar on. When I put the vinegar back I knocked the jar over and the frogs were jumping every where to get off the hot surface. Well I didn't catch them all. All I said was that the French eat frogs legs anyway. It wasn't very hygienic there for a few days. He said he would tell me dad if he knew who he was, but I told him it was no use asking mi mother."
" Its not here oh shoddy one, come on down this way, you've been AWOL long enough" laughed Blamire. He grabbed his jacket between finger and thumb to be on the safe side and pulled him down a side alley. Red neon lights above a double fronted shop told all now, SID'S PALACE, it beamed out to the universe, only to be seen by low flying bombers from above as told by Sid to new patrons. When Sid placed the order for the sign it should have read "Sids place" but a current stain from a rogue teacake defaced the order sheet. Ivy however liked the name as it gave the premises an air of sophistication. As they approached the door a radio set from inside played Joe Loss. The tune was one Compo remembered, something his mother liked, " Remember Me". Compo stopped for a moment, a tear perhaps forming in his eye. " What year is this? Cyril"
"Thats the first time you've got my name right" said a shocked Blamire. " Its 1938 my old mate the end of the slump, but that didn't worry those who had become accustomed to not working" said blamire smiling cynically. "1938 how come" said a puzzled Compo. " Its Blakey's bus. Its a portal" explained Blamire. " A port hole, you expect me to believe we just came through a port hole, I were n't born yesterday you know" jeered Compo. " No its like a time tunnel" said Blamire trying to pacify him. "Oh" wimpered a mollified Compo. Blamire pushed Compo, who was still scratching his head trying to digest what he had just been told, through the Cafe door into the darkened room. " Eh up they haven't started black out yet have they" Chuckled Compo." Come out Sid your teas not that bad" he shouted. Suddenly the lights came on bright enough to hurt Compo's eyes with a chorus of "surprise, surprise," followed by cheering and rapturous applause. Looking around the room amongst the tables were his friends and acquaitances from yesteryear. There was Nora and Wally, Judd the barber, The man from the Telly shop holding up a receipt, Eli looking the wrong way talking to Smiler, Uncle Bill, Sherbet still with a boil on his neck, Billy Ingleton, Marina and Pearl linking either side of Howard, Entwistle and Truely debating the vacuum cleaner he had been sold. Sid was at his counter holding the tea pot ready to serve and Ivy stood next to him with her arms folded holding a tray watching everything was in order and keeping a general eye out for any barmpots. There to the right being pushed forward by Aunty Wainright was Cleggy. His eyes half closed because he said they were watering, a touch of hay fever from the holly and the mistletoe that adorned the cafe walls. With a lump in his throat he tried to jest " I told you, you would not believe me, I knew they had not sent him to the other place, he isn't dressed for it for starters." With that said, he embraced Compo. "Look at us two old codgers bawling our eyes out, welcome home mate." sighed Cleggy. " Cheers Norm, I really have missed you" sniffed Compo wiping his nose on his sleeve." Welcome to 1938, back when we were carefree and life wasn't so complicated, where fish is still fried in dripping and tea is sold loose" explained Cleggy. "Now your here we can have adventures, day trips, Gods own country is our oyster if Blamire can organise it. He seems to know his way around here and it makes him feel important, in fact dare I say superior" gushed Cleggy. "He's still a twit he took us to the wrong stop coming here" argued Compo. " I know but he's a superior twit all the same" laughed Cleggy. "Come on lets get a drink" said Cleggy pointing to the counter. As ever Sid was beaming as he quipped "Who's paying" " It'll be my honour Sidney, two cups of your finest and a couple of mince pies" said Cleggy. " Its Gluvine, thats why were here, her idea to bring some culture into the place" replied Sid with a serious look on his face. "Well do you want it" he continued." What is it?" inquired Cleggy. " Its a sort of mulled wine, its german, she got the recipe from that german student we had staying here." said Sid. " He's gone back home to work for his uncle who is something big in the German Goverment" explained Sid. " Oh Herr Flick, he wasn't a bad lad really, just had this thing about black leather and if you sat behind him in the cinema he gave you a funny look if you asked him to remove his hat so you could see the film, but he always said good morning."replied Cleggy. Compo took a sip of his gluvine and laughed "this is alright Norm." Pushing her way through the crowd Ivy demanded " Well have you told him or has it slipped your mind, you know, other things on it like a certain bus conductress."
Sheepishly Sid said " I thought you might like to give him the good news petal." Ivy turned to Compo, she still had the tray in her hand, she said," We now have several rooms that we let out for a small charge, and as Otto has now gone we have one spare, you can move in tonight, but if there's gonna be any funny buisness you'll feel the full force of this tea tray." With that Nora shouted from the corner " Yes and I've been down to Kellets hardware shop to get a heavy duty yard brush as Wally and me have the room next door." " Ooo! Ivy your a smasher let me give you a kiss girl." chuckled Compo as he chased Ivy into the kitchen. A few seconds later there was a crash of tin, a scream of semi delight and out walked compo holding his head," I'll tell you summat Sid she ain't lost her touch" chuckling his way to a table where Cleggy had sat down with Blamire. He shouted " Sid three more glue wines mine hare and a wedge of that fruit cake with a piece of cheese. " With cake in hand Blamire stood up and proposed a toast "I wish every body here a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year". Every one cheered. Ivy lit the candles on the tables and Sid turned the main lights off. There were carols playing on the radio. Sid turned up the volume as silent night came on. He whispered "Merry Christmas love" as Ivy put her hand on his shoulder.
Blamire said he was going for some fresh air and went outside. He lit up a players as he watched the party singing along. A young soldier came around the corner into the alley. He wore horned rimmed glasses, his uniform was of the territorials, and under his arm a parcel of fish and chips. He stopped at the side of Blamire looking into the cafe. "Merry Christmas Sir, are they having a party." he said " Aye lad, more of a reunion, I see your in the army" replied Blamire. " Yes the terrors, if the balloon goes up they will transfer us into the regulars, its my ambition to be a highly trained leader of men, part of a mighty military machine" enthused the lad. " I must be going, my mam will have the plates warming for her fish and a portion, cherio" he said. As the lad turned to walk up the alley Blamire turned his head to watch him stride out and shouted " Whats your name lad ?" " Walter Dewhurst, they call me Foggy " he shouted back. " Thats right son, thats right " Blamire said to himself," You take care Foggy and God Bless" Blamire shouted after him as the lad disappeared into the swirling falling mist.
Episode 1
Blamire tipped his hat at the cherub floating passed him as he walked down the old dirt road to Beck Bottom. He approached the old grit stone wall inquisitively looking at his pidgeon holed section.There seemed to be something extra in it today. The other sections names were blurred out so he never knew who they belonged to but the contents of his, marked 'Blamire', today had a shine and glowing exuberance to be sure he did not miss it. Instead of the usual can of Mackeson Stout, a packet of Players, £5 spending money and a cheese sandwich, there was an extra issue of each of the latter. Scratching his head he thought that it must be double rations today being Christmas Day Tomorrow. He had not had a memo with his boiled egg at breakfast about any change to his circumstances, so it was a bit of a mystery but he had still not got his head around all this sacramental stuff, so he could have missed some other sign. He opened his coat and put the cigs in his inside blazer pocket. Fastening his gaberdine overcoat against the frost, he put the stout and sandwiches evenly in the pockets. Adusting the hang of his coat he set about his walk towards the old iron foot bridge at Beck Bottom Ford. It was something he did every day. He did not know why, he just did in fact he never had any thoughts of not doing it. He stopped to light up a Players and as he cupped the flame around the end of his cig something caught his eye. There up ahead, a pair of wellingtons swinging backwards and forwards just above the water at the ford. "Blood and stomache pills" he muttered to himself "it can't be", as he slowly moved forward to get a better look. Crouching now with his head to one side, causing the smoke from his cig to sting his left eye, some more of this "can't be" apparition came into view. With the clarity of his view restricted to one eye he did recognise the holes in the trousers of this scepter as his cig dropped from his lips. It can't be something horrible and tatty like a certain Herbet from Holmfirth he asked himself. Surely someone would have given him an overhauling before letting him loose in an heavenly atmosphere. It wasn't to be, there sat on the bridge in brown herringbone, unabashed dishevelment complete with green woolley hat and life time member of the national assistance party was his old mate Compo. " Ye Gods! and I say that with respect oh high one, what the flaming hell are you doing here" coughed Blamire as he dried his smoke induced teary eye. " Oh its you" replied Compo sluffly." Pardon me for getting a whiff but after all these years its good to see you too, Do you want a fag? I can see your full of enthusiasm, oh! and you haven't got a ferret in there have you" said Blamire enquiringly offering his packet of Players." Its not right" murmured Compo as he took out a cig and placed the packet in his pocket. Rolling his eyes it was now the penny dropped for Blamire about why he had got the extra rations " Here, a can of stout and a cheese sandwich get that down ya and tell me all about it" said Blamire as he sat down beside him.
" When I first came here" said Compo after swallowing some of his cheese sandwich."They wouldn't let me in the posh bit with my ferret because it had to go in the animal section. I said listen Elsie where my ferret goes I go. So Eric the gate keeper pointed to the left and I ended up down Preservation Street.There's Perpetual Pete's betting shop at the end so I went in there. I mean you know me I like a bet but I never lost! I thought it was great at first but when I went for my winnings the lass on the pay out said all winnings were donated to the church roof funds. I mean if I am gonna lose my money I want to do it fairly with some rivalry other wise there's no point. I've got to have a reason to get up, that is when I've found my bed." sighed Compo. "You mean your homeless" retorted Blamire, "strooth whats the world coming to when even in the after life you can't depend on charity. Well I personally had a clause put into my gas board pension about such an occurance. Old Baden Powell told us scouts to be always prepared" scoffed Blamire lighting up another cig."Come on sup up we're off, tuck your shirt flap in, I know where we can get you sorted" directed Blamire. They set off up the cobbled lane, Compo head down and hands in his pocket whilst Blamire with his air of authority marched upright to the top of the lane. He looked at his watch, and Compo laughed out " You haven't changed Mildred, are we sychronised then?" " It'll be here in a minute, Blakey's bus" scorned Blamire."Who's Blakey then? do I know him" " " In a manner of speaking you may know him, although he his on a different wave length to you and I "replied Blamire." Oh an ex matelot, I always knew you had naval connections" joked Compo. Blamire gave him his wide eyed gaze of disdain as the bus came around the corner. Compo looked at him with that unshaven smile and as the bus drew up the doors hissed open he shouted out "Its smilers cousin, Blakey,how you doing my old luv, give us two tickets to where he's taking me." Blamire cringed and shook his head as they boarded the bus." Oh no I've heard about him, any trouble and I'll put you off this bus" groaned Blakey. Blamire dragged him to a seat in the lower saloon. After a few minutes Compo's eyes began to feel heavy as he began to doze off. In his head he could hear angelic brass band music of the type the Savation Army played at Christmas but it wasn't a carol or an hymn, it was Chattanooga Choo Choo and has he opened his eyes he heard a womans voice singing the words "Chattanooga Choo Choo won't you choo choo me home" as a pair of wrinkled stockinged legs appeared on the steps from the upper saloon." It can't be" gasped Compo sitting up from his slumped position and as she began to sing the chorus again, he stood up in a joyous mood now with his arms in the air he shouted " Nora Nora won't you choo choo me home", at which point Nora the clippy had appeared in full view. As Compo tried to embrace her she exclaimed " Whats he doing here? Get him off, When they set me on they said nothing about giving tickets to drunken lay abouts and womanisers. If I'd known I would have had to deal with him on a daily basis I would have brought and kept a brush in the luggage compartment for such emergencies, its the only way you can control him. All thats between me and him is this ticket machine, make him sit down, make him sit down, I'll punch his ticket in a minute." Blamire was beaming a smile as he got up saying " I'm sorry madam, he's an unfortunate soul thats left his manners at home this morning and he does tend to get over excited when we let him out for the day" as he ushered Compo back into the seat next to the window, then he sat at the end to block him in. In his state of exhilaration Compo cried " Nora Nora if only I knew all the angels were as beautiful as you I would have been here earlier" and with that he sat back with an ecstatic expression in silence. Nora meanwhile had gone back up stairs where she ajusted her ticket machine, smoothed down her uniform and rearranged her head scarf as a smile crept on to her face. Looking up she whispered "thank you".
They both nodded off as the bus had droned on the top moorland roads when Blamire felt an hand shaking his shoulder. " Come on you two, I've gotta get this bus out on time, your at Piece Hall" groaned Blakey as he stood over them. His hitleresk tache forced a question from Compo,"Were you ever a butler or a gasman? you seem to ring a bell" " No and I would thank you to get your mate and get yourselves moving as I have schedules to keep" roared Blakey manhandling them off the bus. As they were ejected from the bus they stood on the pavement a few seconds as Blamire dusted down his cuffs from the affray and as the bus drove off Compo gave Blakey the victory sign.The street was dark except for the amber glow of the single street lamp where Blamire looked around and cursed "We've missed our stop and its a long walk back" " You know Mavis, just like that time we went canoeing and you lost the flaming canoe, I mean how can you lose a canoe" exclaimed Compo. Just as they were getting into an argument about shipping losses a landrover pickup pulled up beside them." How do lads! need a lift" came the bespectacled voice out of the cab." Hi ya Wesley, this over officious twit missed our stop" interjected Compo before Blamire could open his mouth." I was merely assessing the situation before coming to any conclusion. As one does with important things, like tax forms and the like, but unlike certain individuals who never worked for a living that would be strange ground for them."retorted Blamire."Strange ground, strange ground" laughed Compo," Strange ground for you would be going to the bar to get a round in" chuckled Compo and as Blamire looked aghast, Wesley interupted the foraying with, "Well nothing changes thats for sure, eh up! we're here". Blamire got out first and Compo slid across the seat then he turned to Wesley " thanks Wes, and its good to see you", " thanks Compo likewise, I had to come this way, our Edie sent me down to the station to pick her sister Roz up." With that Compo shut the landrover door and waved back at Wesley.
Stood on the pavement Blamire said in a soft voice to Compo " We got her Bulletin yesterday" "For the life in me I can't understand why I never got yours. Perhaps some tatty Herbet used it to write his winners down for the bookies" he added. Compo shrugged his shoulders chuckling " Oh, thats what it was." as they walked around the corner. There in front of them was the white glow from the window of the Hygienic Fisheries. Compo stopped, uttering "chuffing eck! I can't go in there, he barred me in 1939" "What for " smirked Blamire twirling his moustache." I can't remember, I think it was the time I'd been frogging up at Outhwaites Brewery dam. When he used to keep the salt and vinegar pots on the shelf above the pans. I put my jar of frogs next to the salt to put my vinegar on. When I put the vinegar back I knocked the jar over and the frogs were jumping every where to get off the hot surface. Well I didn't catch them all. All I said was that the French eat frogs legs anyway. It wasn't very hygienic there for a few days. He said he would tell me dad if he knew who he was, but I told him it was no use asking mi mother."
" Its not here oh shoddy one, come on down this way, you've been AWOL long enough" laughed Blamire. He grabbed his jacket between finger and thumb to be on the safe side and pulled him down a side alley. Red neon lights above a double fronted shop told all now, SID'S PALACE, it beamed out to the universe, only to be seen by low flying bombers from above as told by Sid to new patrons. When Sid placed the order for the sign it should have read "Sids place" but a current stain from a rogue teacake defaced the order sheet. Ivy however liked the name as it gave the premises an air of sophistication. As they approached the door a radio set from inside played Joe Loss. The tune was one Compo remembered, something his mother liked, " Remember Me". Compo stopped for a moment, a tear perhaps forming in his eye. " What year is this? Cyril"
"Thats the first time you've got my name right" said a shocked Blamire. " Its 1938 my old mate the end of the slump, but that didn't worry those who had become accustomed to not working" said blamire smiling cynically. "1938 how come" said a puzzled Compo. " Its Blakey's bus. Its a portal" explained Blamire. " A port hole, you expect me to believe we just came through a port hole, I were n't born yesterday you know" jeered Compo. " No its like a time tunnel" said Blamire trying to pacify him. "Oh" wimpered a mollified Compo. Blamire pushed Compo, who was still scratching his head trying to digest what he had just been told, through the Cafe door into the darkened room. " Eh up they haven't started black out yet have they" Chuckled Compo." Come out Sid your teas not that bad" he shouted. Suddenly the lights came on bright enough to hurt Compo's eyes with a chorus of "surprise, surprise," followed by cheering and rapturous applause. Looking around the room amongst the tables were his friends and acquaitances from yesteryear. There was Nora and Wally, Judd the barber, The man from the Telly shop holding up a receipt, Eli looking the wrong way talking to Smiler, Uncle Bill, Sherbet still with a boil on his neck, Billy Ingleton, Marina and Pearl linking either side of Howard, Entwistle and Truely debating the vacuum cleaner he had been sold. Sid was at his counter holding the tea pot ready to serve and Ivy stood next to him with her arms folded holding a tray watching everything was in order and keeping a general eye out for any barmpots. There to the right being pushed forward by Aunty Wainright was Cleggy. His eyes half closed because he said they were watering, a touch of hay fever from the holly and the mistletoe that adorned the cafe walls. With a lump in his throat he tried to jest " I told you, you would not believe me, I knew they had not sent him to the other place, he isn't dressed for it for starters." With that said, he embraced Compo. "Look at us two old codgers bawling our eyes out, welcome home mate." sighed Cleggy. " Cheers Norm, I really have missed you" sniffed Compo wiping his nose on his sleeve." Welcome to 1938, back when we were carefree and life wasn't so complicated, where fish is still fried in dripping and tea is sold loose" explained Cleggy. "Now your here we can have adventures, day trips, Gods own country is our oyster if Blamire can organise it. He seems to know his way around here and it makes him feel important, in fact dare I say superior" gushed Cleggy. "He's still a twit he took us to the wrong stop coming here" argued Compo. " I know but he's a superior twit all the same" laughed Cleggy. "Come on lets get a drink" said Cleggy pointing to the counter. As ever Sid was beaming as he quipped "Who's paying" " It'll be my honour Sidney, two cups of your finest and a couple of mince pies" said Cleggy. " Its Gluvine, thats why were here, her idea to bring some culture into the place" replied Sid with a serious look on his face. "Well do you want it" he continued." What is it?" inquired Cleggy. " Its a sort of mulled wine, its german, she got the recipe from that german student we had staying here." said Sid. " He's gone back home to work for his uncle who is something big in the German Goverment" explained Sid. " Oh Herr Flick, he wasn't a bad lad really, just had this thing about black leather and if you sat behind him in the cinema he gave you a funny look if you asked him to remove his hat so you could see the film, but he always said good morning."replied Cleggy. Compo took a sip of his gluvine and laughed "this is alright Norm." Pushing her way through the crowd Ivy demanded " Well have you told him or has it slipped your mind, you know, other things on it like a certain bus conductress."
Sheepishly Sid said " I thought you might like to give him the good news petal." Ivy turned to Compo, she still had the tray in her hand, she said," We now have several rooms that we let out for a small charge, and as Otto has now gone we have one spare, you can move in tonight, but if there's gonna be any funny buisness you'll feel the full force of this tea tray." With that Nora shouted from the corner " Yes and I've been down to Kellets hardware shop to get a heavy duty yard brush as Wally and me have the room next door." " Ooo! Ivy your a smasher let me give you a kiss girl." chuckled Compo as he chased Ivy into the kitchen. A few seconds later there was a crash of tin, a scream of semi delight and out walked compo holding his head," I'll tell you summat Sid she ain't lost her touch" chuckling his way to a table where Cleggy had sat down with Blamire. He shouted " Sid three more glue wines mine hare and a wedge of that fruit cake with a piece of cheese. " With cake in hand Blamire stood up and proposed a toast "I wish every body here a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year". Every one cheered. Ivy lit the candles on the tables and Sid turned the main lights off. There were carols playing on the radio. Sid turned up the volume as silent night came on. He whispered "Merry Christmas love" as Ivy put her hand on his shoulder.
Blamire said he was going for some fresh air and went outside. He lit up a players as he watched the party singing along. A young soldier came around the corner into the alley. He wore horned rimmed glasses, his uniform was of the territorials, and under his arm a parcel of fish and chips. He stopped at the side of Blamire looking into the cafe. "Merry Christmas Sir, are they having a party." he said " Aye lad, more of a reunion, I see your in the army" replied Blamire. " Yes the terrors, if the balloon goes up they will transfer us into the regulars, its my ambition to be a highly trained leader of men, part of a mighty military machine" enthused the lad. " I must be going, my mam will have the plates warming for her fish and a portion, cherio" he said. As the lad turned to walk up the alley Blamire turned his head to watch him stride out and shouted " Whats your name lad ?" " Walter Dewhurst, they call me Foggy " he shouted back. " Thats right son, thats right " Blamire said to himself," You take care Foggy and God Bless" Blamire shouted after him as the lad disappeared into the swirling falling mist.
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