A Big Tart and a Midget

Douglas Enwright

Dedicated Member
I was a bit dubious about using that title,even though it’s a funny line from the show,and even though it was shown on tv recently without being cut or edited,mainly because this week Marks and Spencer renamed their Midget gems Mini gems because they said the term midget was offensive,so I asked the administrators on here if it would be ok to use (thankyou so much) and they were wonderful and said yes.
The line is spoken by Mrs Avery,associate of Tom,she’s not very nice in this scene,but then she’s in a bit of a state and shook up because she’s nearly run over two reckless cyclists and had to do an emergency stop.
I think I may be in the minority here,but I really liked Mrs Avery,I wasn’t keen on Babs the character,and I didn’t like Waldo the the dog,I thought it was unnecessary and sometimes a bit silly,much like Hobbo in his early episodes with the chicken.
I think my attitude towards Mrs Avery was shaped due to my love of Julie T Wallace,I adore her,my most memorable tv thing ever (apart from our wonderful show of course) was The Life and Loves of a She Devil,in which she starred with Dennis Waterman,Tom Baker,and Patricia Hodges as Mary Fisher,that programme had such an impact on me that it has stayed with me for decades.
Coincidentally another programme that had the same impact also starred Dennis Waterman,it was called A Captains Tale about working class men from the North East who had to sell their belongings to enter their working men’s club team into the World Cup,which was then the Liptons cup,when they applied as West Auckland they put WA and the organisers thought they were Woolwich Arsenal (today’s Arsenal)
I always wanted to go and see the Lipton’s World Cup which was in the West Auckland working men’s club,but it was stolen and I don’t know if it was ever recovered,I haven’t seen that programme in 35 years but it stayed with me so much that I remember all that,much the same as the impact Julie T Wallace had on me.
Does anyone else have any tv events that have stayed with them for decades,it would be great to hear which ones.
I am so sorry for rambling on when it’s a section for photos,and sorry for going off topic too.
This is a scene that I think of often when I pass this way,and it has the added bonus of having Mrs Avery in it,although many scenes over the years were filmed here,I have six sets of then and now photos from this scene but will be away from the site for a couple of days after this.
The scene starts with Howard and Marina emerging from a gate onto the road and into the path of a bus,and here is that very gate today (well,yesterday 16th January 2022,22 years later)
“ I don’t know the lady,we were just travelling in the same direction”
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Hello Chuffer !!!!!,
one show that really stayed with me was Auf Wiedersehen Pet .
I thought the first series really summed up the times in this country...Norman Tebbit saying "get on your bike and find work"...so people did !!.
Oz,Dennis and the nervy Neville embarking on an adventure across Europe !!!...[I always think of you Captain when I watch it now !!!]
The Characters were believable and the acting was spot on.
The second series in particular appeals to me....renovating Thornley Manor.....then moving over to Spain to build a pool for that wrong 'un Ally Frazer.
you can really sense the camaraderie between the "Magnificent Seven".
I still watch it to this day,and will never tire of watching it.
x!
 
I have the DVD's of the show its one of my favourite ever and I have watched many times . Out of them all Timothy Spall and Kevin Whatley have had tremendous success in other shows , Chris Fairburn [ Moxy] turns up in all sorts of shows and is clearly a very versatile actor . Jimmy Nail sold a few records made a series called Spender, he was the ethereal Geordie but I can't say I like him he became very aloof forgot his roots [well saying he is friends with Sting another in that boat] .He filmed an episode of Spender near me and he was a real prima donna insisting streets in the area had to be cleared, refused to talk to locals .

Tim Healy is really down to earth never misses Sunday for Sammy charity gig supports local music seen him at lots of gigs of local singers and bands . Sadly Pat Roach and Gary Holton died far to young . Ally Frazer did well for himself Bill Paterson is in all sorts voice of the Repair Shop not least . So all in all an iconic series has produced so many household stars .
 
I like Mrs. Avery / Julie Wallace too, Chuffer. Seen her in a few other things and liked her in them as well. Believe Compo would have been a fan of her also. Babs as a character just seemed out of place.

Auf Wiedesehen Pet is an excellant show. First remember seeing Timothy Spall in a Red Dwarf episode (Back to Reality - ?) long ago and thought he did a great job, loved his accent in it.
 
Hello Chuffer !!!!!,
one show that really stayed with me was Auf Wiedersehen Pet .
I thought the first series really summed up the times in this country...Norman Tebbit saying "get on your bike and find work"...so people did !!.
Oz,Dennis and the nervy Neville embarking on an adventure across Europe !!!...[I always think of you Captain when I watch it now !!!]
The Characters were believable and the acting was spot on.
The second series in particular appeals to me....renovating Thornley Manor.....then moving over to Spain to build a pool for that wrong 'un Ally Frazer.
you can really sense the camaraderie between the "Magnificent Seven".
I still watch it to this day,and will never tire of watching it.
x!
Yes it was great MoodyBlue wasn’t it,some programmes you just never tire of watching
 
I have the DVD's of the show its one of my favourite ever and I have watched many times . Out of them all Timothy Spall and Kevin Whatley have had tremendous success in other shows , Chris Fairburn [ Moxy] turns up in all sorts of shows and is clearly a very versatile actor . Jimmy Nail sold a few records made a series called Spender, he was the ethereal Geordie but I can't say I like him he became very aloof forgot his roots [well saying he is friends with Sting another in that boat] .He filmed an episode of Spender near me and he was a real prima donna insisting streets in the area had to be cleared, refused to talk to locals .

Tim Healy is really down to earth never misses Sunday for Sammy charity gig supports local music seen him at lots of gigs of local singers and bands . Sadly Pat Roach and Gary Holton died far to young . Ally Frazer did well for himself Bill Paterson is in all sorts voice of the Repair Shop not least . So all in all an iconic series has produced so many household stars .
Yes they did really well didnt they captain,that brilliant series led to so many great careers,I’m sorry to read that Jimmy Nail was like that,I used to like him and thought he was a proper down to earth geordie.
 
I like Mrs. Avery / Julie Wallace too, Chuffer. Seen her in a few other things and liked her in them as well. Believe Compo would have been a fan of her also. Babs as a character just seemed out of place.

Auf Wiedesehen Pet is an excellant show. First remember seeing Timothy Spall in a Red Dwarf episode (Back to Reality - ?) long ago and thought he did a great job, loved his accent in it.
Do you know I never even thought of that RickAns,Compo would have absolutely LOVED Mrs Avery,you never know,Nora Batty might even have got some peace,what a great thought,thankyou x
 
I remember Julie T Wallace from Heartbeat, she played 'sweaty Betty Such' . Worth watching.
I never saw her in that Graham,will look out for it if I get chance to watch it,I think she could have stayed in Summer Wine and become one of the ladies group,and stayed in Compo’s house with Tom,I don’t know the circumstances of her leaving but I thought it a shame at the time,I watched The missing bus of Mrs Avery tonight and I do like her,although as I said I wasn’t too keen on the Babs and Waldo initial introduction of them,but I think with just Tom she could have grown into a regular,loved character.
 
Spot on Rick it was Back to Reality his banter with the crew about the mission is just brilliant.
The thing I really remember Timothy Spall in was the film Pierrpoint where he played the hangman Albert Pierrpoint,wow that really stayed with me and he was brilliant,I seem to remember him in some sort of documentary with him on a narrowboat and he seemed a really nice guy.
 
The bus driven by Mrs Avery is forced to do an emergency stop,hitting the bike but narrowly missing Howard,she thinks she has hit him and isn’t too impressed,she’s not a confident driver at the best of times and gets her right and left mixed up when driving under stress.
There were no buses on the lane today,nor were there any tarts or midgets,the only person I saw was one solitary dog walker with a gorgeous dog that was wagging his tail at me all the time I was walking down the lane towards him.
Was Mrs Avery ever called by her first name ?
I‘m not sure I even know what it was,although Tom did once refer to her as “ your Auntie Lol” to Babs,so was she called Lorraine ? I don’t think I ever heard her called anything other than Mrs Avery.
Anyway here’s the bus on the lane and the collision with the bicycle,and the lane,very quiet,22 years later
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Mrs Avery :
They came from nowhere,it was like time stood still,I just had this vision of a big tart and a midget
Howard :
I’m not a midget !
Mrs Avery :
I thought I’d killed him,last thing he needs with a bird like that is any more bad luck
Howard :
We just happened to be travelling in the same direction
Mrs Avery was a bit awful here,but she was a bit upset and shocked,and angry with them,so I for one will forgive her,
It was great to stand where she stood and think of this scene
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I had wondered why Tom did not just drawn a big L or R on the back of Mrs. Avery's hands to help her when driving. :D
Seems her name is Mrs (Lolly Minerva) Avery according to.


Haha, I just discovered Timothy in the boating show as well just the other day! It looks interesting, Douglas. Not sure if it is a whole series on him or just a few episodes. I plan to watch some later.


I did see this a few months back and it impressed me with how good he can be in a non-comedy role.


Discovered this the other day because of your thread. The movie looks really good about him taking an 800km bus ride across England. Maybe I can grab a dvd of it when it comes out or watch online. The Bookie from Still Game looks to be one of the bus drivers.
 
So many scenes were filmed here at this junction,I always think of them when I pass by,it was also here that they put a fake telephone box where Barry phoned up for a personal trainer,and they put the same fake telephone box in the same place in the gnome episode where Howard made a phone call,Robert Fyffe must have been very familiar with this area,it was also here he asked Foggy,Compo and Clegg the way to France in the Glamour of the uniform episode,and apart from that and getting knocked off his bike here,it was also here that he was pushing his bike alongside Pearl when PC Walsh wound his window down and said “ another one ? not seen you with this one before”,another one of those lol moments.
Behind me where I took the photo is a bench,a real one not a prop,and they filmed so many scenes sat on this bench,it’s still the same bench,it has a small brass plaque on the right side that you can see on the episodes,I always sit here where Clegg used to sit and have my flask and think of them.
Heres that junction today,it’s so quiet and peaceful here these days
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After saying their goodbyes Tom crosses the road and decides he is going to stay,looking out over a beautiful scene,in reality when Tom crosses that road he would be faced with a dry stone wall and a flat field,this view where Tom is,is about a ten or fifteen minute walk in the direction the bus was coming from.
This photo of it was taken on a damp drizzly January day,but later in the year it will be every bit as beautiful as it appeared on screen.
I have then and now posts which I will try and post at the weekend of a place that I always regarded as my favourite and one of the prettiest landscapes in the show,but I was in for a big shock when I visited this time
Chuffer x
Cleggy : Goodbye,have a good journey home
Tom : This is our home now,this is where our roots are now
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