Best one liners

[Beth]

Compo: I know what it is. I neglected her.
Cleggy : Sounds reasonable to me. If I had Nora Batty, I would neglect her too.

 

[onyx(John)]

Compo: You're right Norm, I were just a helpless prawn.

 

[Beth]

Foggy: I think she is in there. If she is in there, we all know what's going to happen if we ring the bell. I think he (Compo) should ring the bell. He doesn't think she's in there. Therefore if she is not in there, he's not running as big a risk as I am because I believe she's in there.
:me:

 

[onyx(John)]

>

Foggy: I think she is in there. If she is in there, we all know what's going to happen if we ring the bell. I think he (Compo) should ring the bell. He doesn't think she's in there. Therefore if she is not in there, he's not running as big a risk as I am because I believe she's in there.
:me:

Good one Beth, I remember the quote but can't place the episode?

 

[DJWCFC]

that episode was "The Self-Propelled Salad Strainer" John

 

[onyx(John)]

that episode was "The Self-Propelled Salad Strainer" John

Thanks Darren, I figured you would know this

 

[Beth]

>

Foggy: I think she is in there. If she is in there, we all know what's going to happen if we ring the bell. I think he (Compo) should ring the bell. He doesn't think she's in there. Therefore if she is not in there, he's not running as big a risk as I am because I believe she's in there.
:me:

Good one Beth, I remember the quote but can't place the episode?

Thanks John! Taped it from our PBS station and had to rewind many times to get it right. Ha
I saw it for the first time 3 days ago and is one of my favorites now. Great one-liners in this episode.

 

[onyx(John)]

Compo to Foggy: Stop looking at your nuts and look at your watch ;D ;D ;D

 

[onyx(John)]

Ivy: I found the physical side of marriage was best served by wallpapering ;D

 

[dick]

Norah "I liked to surprise my Wally with a nice pair of long socks"!

Ivy "I should think it would surprise him, long socks would probably come past his eyes!""

 

[onyx(John)]

Old Edgar: Have you seen me scar?
Clegg: I`d rather have a grape if it`s all the same to you.

 

[Philosopher Clegg]

Not necessarily one liners as each has a good build up to the punch line, but these two get me every time.

There's the one where the trio are in a barn and Compo is talking about how well someone he once knew was now doing. He ends it with "he's got all his money tucked away in a Eunuchs Truss".

Then there is the one where Foggy turns hunter and plans to stun the creature with a dart, the end of which he's covered in Horlicks. When asked why Horlicks his reply is along the lines of "because it always gets me to sleep".

 

[onyx(John)]

Nora: I like a serious hat. I like a hat that says no trespassing (Miserable Muscroft)

 

[Beth]

Cleggy: Pull up a floor and sit down Wally.

 

[dick]

She'd wear any man down! Look at Wally , 4 foot 9! : When they married he was 6 foot 2 !!

 

[onyx(John)]

Clegg: I never really thought of gravy granules as an aphrodisiac (from Pavarotti episode) :santahat:

 

[Beth]

Compo: Nor I am going to do for grub the rest of the week, I've got mice leaving home.

 

[dick]

Wally " I'll take you home( speaking to the whippet) Its not as though she's not used to dogs! I've led a dogs life for years!!"

 

[DJWCFC]

Clegg: Yee gods, if Auntie Wainwright's gone mobile then no one is safe. From "Aladdin Gets on your Wick"

 

[Beth]

Foggy to Compo: You always throw it (money) away on the horses. You could put at least three bookies down as dependents on your tax return.