LOTSW scenes that didn't make the cut

[Scrumpa]

Fellow LOTSW lovers -
I propose we make up our own lines to fit LOTSW scenes. Pick a scene and fill in a different dialog (ala the show "Who's Line Is It Anyway?").

-OR -

Make up a scene that you'd have LIKED to have seen - perhaps in an episode that you feel needs something to make it work for you.

I'll start -

Scene: Truly, Clegg, Compo, and Wesley next to the creek with the "Earthquake Finder" fellow (s20e6 - Will Barry Go Septic...).

Wesley (facing Truly): "What is he looking for with that contraption?"
Man (overhearing Wesley, walks up to Truly and Wesley): "Honest politicians!"
Truly: "Found any yet?"
Compo: "I once gave one to Nora for her birthday."
Clegg: "An honest politician?"
Compo: "NO! A contraption like that one."
Clegg: "Did it find any honest politicians?"
Truly (facing man): "You're going to have to get a much larger machine that this to find what you're looking for..."
Man: "Well, I..."
Compo (interrupting): "Will it straighten women's stockings? The one I gave Nora didn't work at all - bleah!"

OK - I'm not a comedy writer - or even a wannabe. But maybe some of you are. Can we challenge the master - dare we?

 

[Scrumpa]

Considering the lack of responses to this thread, I must say Roy Clarke's genius is obvious. LOTSW is an amazing collection of skits and stories. Mr. Clarke's accomplishment is akin to writing a 500 page novel every year for 36 years. Oh, and when you add in the other series he was writing at the same time as LOTSW his contribution seems absolutely monumental. "Impressive" seems inadequate.

Do you folks in the UK call him Sir Roy Clarke? Just asking.

 

[Big Unc]

Considering the lack of responses to this thread, I must say Roy Clarke's genius is obvious. LOTSW is an amazing collection of skits and stories. Mr. Clarke's accomplishment is akin to writing a 500 page novel every year for 36 years. Oh, and when you add in the other series he was writing at the same time as LOTSW his contribution seems absolutely monumental. "Impressive" seems inadequate.
Do you folks in the UK call him Sir Roy Clarke? Just asking.

No and it is an enditement of our honours system that Roy Clarke, with his enormous contribution, ranks as only as an Officer of the Order of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire (OBE), two levels below knighthood (which entitles the "Sir"). Bill Owen ranked even lower as a Member of the Order (MBE) but Peter Sallis, Burt Kwouk and Dora Bryan are all OBEs. They are outranked by June Whitfield who is a Commander of the Order (CBE) and, of course by Dame Thora Hird who as a Dame of the Order (DBE) is the female equivalent of a knight.

One guest with a thoroughly deserved knighthood was Sir Norman Wisdom and there was Eric Sykes, one down with a CBE.

My faith in the UK honours system was very much knocked when they awarded a knighthood to that charlatan Bruce Forsyth.

For some details: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Order_of_the_British_Empire

 

[Scrumpa]

Thanks for the education. As a yank, I'm not up to snuff concerning British honours. Does it seem to you that actors and others who face the camera tend to receive higher and more honours than do those who sit behind the camera? I don't recall if Roy Clarke ever appeared in front of one of his cameras (although I saw him in a couple interviews).

I think we on this side of the pond tend to also favor those who face the camera over those who write for them. Funny, too, because most of the folks who face the camera are dumber than stumps in comparison to those who tell them what to say and how to say it.

I figure if Paul McCartney (whose songs are played in elevators over here) can get a knighthood, why not Roy Clarke?!! Please pardon me if I occasionally slip and call Mr. Clarke, "SIR Roy Clarke" - as a sign of deep respect and honor for accomplishments appreciated.

Cheers!