Well-Known Member
I have just had a look at the weather forecast and I see that we are set for a day of girls... OOPS, I mean gales. The forecasted wind is so strong that as soon as I got the forecast up on my screen it blew my wig off. I didn't mind that so much but it landed in a large bowl of custard my wife is making to put on some fried fig and radish sarnies that she is making for breakfast. I retrieved my wig and put it back on my head but the custard ran between my eyes and off the end of my hooter, the result of which makes me look as though I have a very bad cold. Undaunted, I carried on with my plans for the day. Should I or should I not transplant the 50-year-old oak tree from the back garden to the front garden. If I did that then I would certainly need the help of some of you guys. The pay is good, a threepenny diddler and a helping of custard and wig to give you the strength to get the tree over the rooftop. There are also the remnants of the fried fig and radish sarnies that Jack, our dog, has chewed on so they should be quite soft now. They should be delicious with a spoonful of chutney on. Some of the spring flowers are ready for sorting out as well, especially daisies old bloomers which are ready to come down. PLEASE, gentlemen, control yourselves, I did say daisies and not Daisy's. One of you could cut the lawn. That should be an easy enough job for somebody, it's astroturf. There are some red hot pokers that need cooling. Kniphofia is the posh name for that plant. If you have difficulty pronouncing that then just say 'Niff of fire'. I think that is why they are called red hot pokers. The red robin bushes need painting green and the buttercups need washing and drying. Now fellas, do I have any offers of help? What, not one? Awww, Glenda will be disappointed. She's coming round at one o'clock in her racing gear to make some tea. .......
HEY, HOLD UP THERE. Why the sudden rush for my address? o_O

captain clutterbuck

Well-Known Member
Should I or should I not transplant the 50-year-old oak tree
Get the professionals in Peri . I have heard that a company in your area called Acorn Antiques are very good [watch out for Miss Babs and Mrs Overall is lethal with her broom] and at 50 years old you could class it as that . I can see why you didn't fancy the custard , syrup of figs in Custard not a good mix . :);)