Best one liners

Well, I am trying to rub some feeling back where I was struck with a spoon and he's busy suppressing a spoon of agony.
 
Compo: I could murder a bun.
Ivy: You usually do, and everybody from yards around can hear the struggle. ;D
 
Compo on the dumping by the roadside of an old mattress and the innards of a slot machine:

'Fancy folk doing a thing like that. You can get good money for scrap these days.'

I wonder if that line was Roy Clarke's inspiration for depicting Compo's mother as a rag-and-bone 'man' in First of the Summer Wine.

Marianna
 
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I always think it was a mistake to have obscene words of only four letters. I mean, if rude words had a compulsory minimum of eight letters, most of your graffiti freaks would have to retire overnight.
 
I know they all say we have to eat a pinch (dirt) before we die. But what you feel you really ought to know is, what is the timescale between the eating and the dying? I mean if it's only 30 seconds, it puts a whole new complexion on things.
 
COMPO.. "Oooh me back ,me back!
SEYMOUR .. Where does it hurt?

COMPO.. Right where some long prong 's tapping it!! :20:
 
SEYMOUR.....This'll never do, you need some support!
COMPO....... 'Ow about £50 a week ?? :wink:
 
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