jokes bad or otherwise.

I was in town today and heard a mother yell at her daughter "If you
don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about when we get
home."
So I shouted "Make her watch Bambi."
 
I once had a dream I was drowning in an ocean of orangeade luckily
for me it was only a fanta-sea
 
A woman in a sun dress goes into a pub
She lifts her arm, revealing a hairy armpit and says, 'What man here
will buy a lady a drink?' At the end of the bar, an old drunk shouted
'Give the ballerina a drink!'
The woman drank it. Then she did the same again and once again, the
same little drunk shouted 'Give the ballerina another drink!'
The barman turned to the drunk and said 'Why do you keep calling her
a ballerina?' The drunk replied, 'Any woman who can lift her leg that
high has got to be a ballerina!'
 
Down Periscope, Crimson Tide, K-19, The Hunt For Red October, U-571
I hate films with sub-titles.
 
The headteacher called Johnny into his office. He said "I've just
had a brick thrown through my window, are you responsible".
"No" replied Johnny "I'm irresponsible that's why I threw it".
 
Just did 30 minutes on a new machine at the gym, feel a bit sick now, but it's good, it's got Mars Bars ,Kit Kats, Yorkies and everything.
 
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