jokes bad or otherwise.

I've finally decided that it's time for me to stop pulling down my
trousers and showing my backside to passers by.
I'm over the moon.
 
Britain and American said that as part of the re-structuring of Iraq
, they plan to divide it into three parts.
Regular, Premium and Unleaded.
 
Some one said I procrastinate too much.
I don't know what that means, but I'll Google it later.
 
"Now pay attention, 007; this looks like an ordinary suitcase but,
if you push this button, a handle comes out and you can wheel it."
 
If you're always organising things, you have OCD. If you're always
eating things, you have OBCD.
 
I couldn't quite see what the sign said, so I stood up to read it.
It said "Keep your head down".
 
A man goes into his Doctor's surgery and says, "Doctor, I'm having hearing problems, can you help me?"
The Doctor says, "Okay, describe the symptoms."
The man replies, "One's fat and eats donuts, one has blue hair, and one is called Bart."
 
I saw a fella standing on a street corner looking shifty with a deck
of cards...
I think he's the local dealer .
 
Police pulled over a man driving a Hearse at 110mph in the slow lane
of a motorway.
He was later charged with undertaking.
 
I went to the hairdressers today and asked for some highlights.
He gave me a DVD of old haircuts!
 
Gillette. Why not drive down production costs by getting rid of all
the other blades behind the closest one?
 
A bloke was in the pub and ordered a pint and a whisky chaser.
He said to the barmaid, ''I really shouldn't be drinking this with
what I got''
She asked sympathetically, ''Oh really, What's that?''
''37p''
 
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