jokes bad or otherwise.

I broke three fingers, two toes and a kneecap at work earlier.
My boss said I'm the worst physiotherapist he's ever seen.
 
"Where do you want this big roll of bubble wrap?" I asked my boss.
"Just pop it in the corner." He said.
It took me three hours.
 
In my experiences I've found that ghosts REALLY don't like it and will slam your doors shut if you leave your windows open.
 
My mate and his wife have been married for 15 years and he's never looked at another woman since.
He says he's too traumatised
 
A Lion is just about to sit down to his Dinner when he realises that his Fork has been stolen and so he goes and asks the Jaguar if he has seen it , "What's a Fork?" asks the Jaguar "It's a Four Pointed Tool" replied the Lion.

The Jaguar says "I've eaten it" , the Lion asks "Why did you eat my Fork",

"Because I'm a Four Point Tool Eater Jaguar" came the reply
 
Making love and laughter are the two things which will ensure a happy and contented life.
Unless you do them at the same time
 
An old lady dropped her bag outside Tesco this morning when my wife looked at me and said,"Well don't just stand there."
So I started doing star jumps.
 
I went to the gym earlier, and worked up one hell of a sweat.
The thought of exercising had me so terrified I left without doing any.
 
I went to a bookshop and asked, "How much does this book about inflation cost?"
"£10" Replied the assistant.
I said, "Great, I'll take it."
"That'll be £20 please."
 
I've just heard about a new book out that's getting farmers wives all hot and bothered,
Its called fifty grades of hay.
 
George said:
I've just heard about a new book out that's getting farmers wives all hot and bothered,
Its called fifty grades of hay.
Click to expand...
;D That made my daughter give a right belly laugh George!! ;D She's used to the more modern "humour" though so it must be a good one ;)
 
I've just phoned the hospital and put them on standby.
I'm just about to try and open a tin of corned beef.
 
My boss pulled up in his brand new BMW today and I couldn't help but admire it.
"Nice car," I said as he got out.
"Well," he said, noticing my admiring looks, "If you work hard and put the hours in I'll have an even better one next year."
 
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