Should be a good day.

[Peripheral]

Good Day everybody. I am filled with great expectations for today because I have just purchased, for my dearly beloved, a new vacuum cleaner. The old one is far too heavy for her to push around and watching her struggle with it was giving me palpitations. So, for both our sakes, I bought her the top of the range, a DYSON. By heck, that thing does have some power. She is very pleased with it and this morning I am expecting two bacon sarnies instead of one. Not only that, I think that tonight will be an early to bed night.... if you know what I mean. If that is the case then I will have to eat bunches of bananas and drink gallons of Lucozade. That should give me enough strength for me to get my socks off. The last time we indulged in that sort of thing I had to have the neighbours come round to lift me on. They looked at me and said, "Will that be all Peri?" I pondered for a moment and replied, "Can you come back in a half-hour to lift me off?" .... "Half hour, as long as that?" somebody said. "OH YES," said I, " I will want a snooze for the last twenty-five minutes". As I'm writing this my wife is happily vacuuming the floor. She, like me, does have problems moving around but I am pleased to say that the new vac has done her more good than all her medicines. She is a sight for sore eyes. Yeah, one look at her and you will have sore eyes. I will never forget the day we got married. His vicarship looked at me and said, "Do you Peri, take this woman to be your awful wedded .....ERR, lawful wedded wife?" Victoria promptly chipped in and said quite firmly, "HE DOES". All in all, as weddings go, I wish mine had gone, it was quite a sad affair, even the cake was in tiers. Now that little joke should give you an idea how old I am. I fell out of my pram laughing at that joke. I was only fourteen at the time. Time now for me to get some beauty sleep.
Have a nice day. Peri.

 

[captain clutterbuck]

Missed a trick Peri should have bought one of those robot vacuum cleaners and you could of watched it as a change of lockdown entertainment . Your good lady could have deposited the bacon sandwich and a mug of tea on top of it knowing fine will it would pass yourself at some point , though the sandwich would need to be wrapped in foil to keep it warm. As we are talking weddings I absolutely make no apologies for posting the Chic Murray story about going to a wedding again .