Out in Newcastle yesterday and you know how you would just like to sit with a good cup of coffee in relative peace and quiet, has anyone else noticed it is almost impossible and you have to sit there and listen to this absolute drivel from these 20 plus wanabees, who drone on endlessly about where they have been, what they have lined up when in essence its embellished to the nth degree .
This is more common than people would think. At public events or standing in queues. I've heard it called "humblebragging" but there's not much humble to it.
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I have "asked" about if this and offer the following response as to why this is occurs. Take it for what it is:
1. Social Signaling & Status Display
This behavior is a form of **social signaling**, where people try to advertise their value, success, or uniqueness to others — even strangers. Talking loudly about achievements, travel, or connections can be a way to say:
> *“I am successful, worldly, interesting, or important.”*
It’s similar to wearing luxury brands or driving a flashy car — but through **verbal cues**.
2. Insecurity Masked as Confidence
Ironically, this can sometimes signal **insecurity** more than confidence.
Loud self-promotion can be a way for someone to reassure themselves of their value or to *elicit validation from others*.
If someone truly feels secure and confident, they’re often less concerned with broadcasting it.
3. Perception Management
People often want others — even strangers — to **perceive them a certain way**.
In public, where social comparison is heightened, they might try harder to **control the narrative** of how they’re seen: as cultured, important, or successful.
4. Poor Awareness or Self-Importance
Some people may genuinely lack **awareness of how they’re coming across** — especially if they’re caught up in a story. Others may assume everyone else finds their story as fascinating as they do, which reflects a kind of **ego-centrism** or narcissistic bias.
5. Cultural or Personality Factors
In some cultures or personality types, **extroversion**, story-sharing, and volume are more socially accepted. What seems like braggadocio in one context might be **normal social engagement** in another.
6. Desire for Connection (Even Indirectly)
Sometimes people talk loudly because they *want others to overhear*. This could be a subconscious way to **spark interaction**, impress someone, or feel less alone. Especially in places where people are mostly silent, standing out can create a feeling of control or connection.
In Short:
> **Loud public self-promotion is often less about communication and more about *performance*.**
It’s a way of managing perception, asserting identity, or coping with insecurity in a social environment where we’re constantly — even silently — being evaluated.
====All good and well (not really, but) but how to deal with this? ============
Here are some ways to **gracefully deal with loud, self-promoting people in public**, depending on your mood, goals, and how direct you want to be:
1. Ignore & Detach (Low-Energy Approach)
If you’re just trying to get through your day:
* **Tune out**: Use headphones, music, or podcasts to insulate yourself.
* **Shift your focus**: Practice observing your breath, posture, or surroundings instead of getting pulled into the performance.
* **Mentally reframe**: Remind yourself, *“This is more about them than me.”*
*Best for: Peace of mind in low-stakes situations.*
2. Observe With Curiosity (Neutralizing Annoyance)
Rather than judging or feeling irritated:
* Treat it like a **sociological case study**: *“What are they trying to signal? To whom?”*
* Ask yourself: *“What might they be insecure about?”*
This can foster **compassion** rather than annoyance.
*Best for: Staying calm while still mentally engaged.*
3. Use Humor Internally (or with a Trusted Companion)
* Internally, you can “play bingo” with tropes: name-drops, luxury travel, obscure wine references, etc.
* If you’re with someone, share a quick, quiet laugh or eye-roll — without being mean-spirited or escalating things.
*Best for: Turning irritation into amusement without confrontation.*
4. Polite Redirect (In Line or Close Proximity)
If the volume is truly disruptive:
* Use **light, friendly language**:
> *“Sorry, could you keep it down just a little? It's hard to focus.”*
> or *“Mind lowering your voices a bit? Thanks.”*
Tone is everything — be calm, not condescending.
*Best for: When their volume is truly affecting your space.*
5. Direct Engagement (Advanced / Risky)
If you’re bold and curious:
* Join the conversation with genuine (but low-stakes) questions.
> *“Wow, that’s an interesting trip — how’d you end up there?”*
> Sometimes this **disarms performative people**, causing them to shift into real conversation — or they lose steam.
*Only recommended if you’re socially agile and ready for unpredictable responses.*
Final Tip: Don’t Let Their Ego Hijack Your Headspace
Even if they’re loud, **you don’t have to give them your attention**.
That’s the real power — choosing what earns your focus.
