jokes bad or otherwise.

A Father and Son have lived all their lives in the outback and are visiting a Shopping Mall for the very first time . They are awestruck by what they see but especially the two silver walls that part and then join up . The Son asks his Father what it is to which the Father replies " I don't know my Son I have never seen such a thing before" . As they are standing an old lady with a walking stick goes through the doors of the Elevator and in a couple of minutes a tall blonde beautiful girl emerges . The Father turns to the Son and says " Quick Son go and find your Mother!"
 
Two ladies are on a night out and have a bit much too drink . Anyway they stagger off home but find they need to go to the toilet as they wont make it home without going for a wee, so they nip into the local cemetery and go . The first lady with nothing to wipe herself with takes of her pants , wipes herself and throws them away. The second is wearing expensive underwear and does not want to throw her pants away so she manages to grab a ribbon off a wreath , wipes herself and then throws the ribbon away.

They duly stagger home to bed . Next day the husband of the first lady rings the husband of the second one . "These drunken nights out have to stop my wife came home with no pants on ". The second lady's husband retorts " That's nothing mine came home with a card sticking out her bottom with the words ' From All of Us At the Fire Station, We'll Never Forget You' !! :eek::eek::eek:
 
Piers Morgan is out jogging around a lake when he trips and falls in . Three boys witness this and dive in to save him, dragging him back to the bank . After he recovers he thanks the boys and offers them anything they would like for saving him . The first boy is so grateful and says " I would like to go Alton Towers for the day" "That's fine " Piers retorts . The second boy is equally as grateful and says " I would like to see Arsenal play at the Emirates stadium " " As an Arsenal fan it would be great to buy you a ticket" Piers replies.

The third boy equally as grateful says " I would like an Electric wheelchair" . Piers is puzzled and asks " Why ? You clearly do not have any disabilities as you dived in and help save me" . The boy responds " Well when my Dad finds out I saved you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" :)
 
I do hope this is not to offensive if it is I will delete it , the humour is implied not stated.

A man walks into a bar with a large box . The Barman enquires "What's in the box" . The man retorts "Give me a beer and I will show you " . The Barman duly complies and the man opens the box and takes out a little man and a piano who begins to play. "That;s brilliant but how did you get it" the Barman asks . "Give me another beer and I will let you use my Genie's lamp , that's how I got it" . So the Barman gives him a beer and the Man takes the lamp out the box . The Barman rubs the lamp and the Genie appears asking the Barman his wish . " A million bucks please" the Barman asks . Seconds later the bar is invaded by lots of ducks flying around. " Hey what's this I asked for a million bucks!!" the Barman shouts . The Man replies " Do you think I asked for a twelve inch Pianist" :eek::eek::08:
 
Why do bees hum ?......................They don't know the words !:08:

What do you call a bee born in May ??................................A maybe !:rolling:
 
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