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jokes bad or otherwise.

three brothers 92,94 and 96 share a house . The 96 year old fills a bath puts his foot in but then asks " was I getting in the bath or getting out? ! On hearing that the 94 year old says " hang on I'll come up and help you " he climbs the stairs and says " was I coming up the stairs or going down? " The 92 year old is in the kitchen having a cuppa and shakes his head " I hope I never get as forgetful as those two" , he knocks on the wooden table for luck and shouts " I'll be up in a minute to help you both after I see whose at the door!"
 
Paddy and Murphy are in the Pub knocking back pints and shots , buying rounds and celebrating . The Barman asks Murphy why they are celebrating . " We just completed a jigsaw in 2 months " The puzzled Barman replies " Well that seems a long time and not worth a celebration."
" Oh Yeh!! " Murphy retorts " Well the box says 2 to 4 years !"
 
captain clutterbuck said:
Paddy and Murphy are in the Pub knocking back pints and shots , buying rounds and celebrating . The Barman asks Murphy why they are celebrating . " We just completed a jigsaw in 2 months " The puzzled Barman replies " Well that seems a long time and not worth a celebration."
" Oh Yeh!! " Murphy retorts " Well the box says 2 to 4 years !"
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That's a Bobby Dazzler CC, had me in stitches :D:D:D
 
Paddy is sitting quietly reading the paper , his wife comes in an cracks him on the head with a saucepan . " Ow what was that for?" His wife replies " I was about to wash you trousers and I found a piece of paper with the name Mary Ellen on it , who is she !!!! " Paddy retorts " Well you know I was at he races two weeks ago and that was the name of a horse I had a bet on. " It seems to pacify his wife and she returns to the kitchen.

Three days later Paddy is watching TV when his wife comes out , hits him over the head with a frying pan knocking him out . He comes to asking " What was that for darling?" " Your Horse has been on the phone !"
 
Paddy goes to the Doctors and tells the Doctor he is crippled with chronic constipation . After a few minutes examination he tells Paddy to bend over , the Doc pulls out a baseball bat and whacks Paddy on the backside . A loud cracking sound is heard and the Doctor tells Paddy to go to the toilet immediately . After 5 minutes Paddy appears " bejesus Doc your're a miracle worker is there anything I should do to stop this happening again ?"
The Doc replies" I know you work on the Building site Paddy stop wiping your ass on the bags of cement"
 
captain clutterbuck said:
Paddy is sitting quietly reading the paper , his wife comes in an cracks him on the head with a saucepan . " Ow what was that for?" His wife replies " I was about to wash you trousers and I found a piece of paper with the name Mary Ellen on it , who is she !!!! " Paddy retorts " Well you know I was at he races two weeks ago and that was the name of a horse I had a bet on. " It seems to pacify his wife and she returns to the kitchen.

Three days later Paddy is watching TV when his wife comes out , hits him over the head with a frying pan knocking him out . He comes to asking " What was that for darling?" " Your Horse has been on the phone !"
Click to expand...
Must have been Mr Ed's wife. :)
 
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