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Talk about bitter and twisted !!!.....they used to sell BLUE TOMATO KETCHUP in the Everton club shop !!!!......a fact that I have no issue with !!!!...hence my name !!!!. X!

Brannigans roast beef and mustard !!!!...in the brown paper bag.......AND....Worcester Sauce flavoured Twiglets.....[now unavailable...BOO HOO]....they were that strong they took a layer of skin off your tongue and the roof of your mouth....I think the reason they were discontinued is because of...

The footy's back !!!!!....another 9 months of lows and lowers !!!..... Another 9 months of not reading the Sunday papers and not watching match of the day,or Sky Sprts News...... Another 9 months of "drinking to forget" post match......in a pub full of like minded fools !!!..... Another 9 months...

Amos...Kent must be the only place on earth with aggressive pigeons !!!!.....PIGEONS WITH ATTITUDE !!!!!!!. X!

I am in the Marina camp were pigeons are concerned......."I LIKE PIGEONS.......PROUD LITTLE STRUTTING THINGS !!!!!". X!

What saddens me is the 360 degree u turn certain residents of our favourite town seem to have taken against our programme......I feel that many want to eradicate the memory of the very thing that makes Holmfirth such a vibrant happy Town..... Our younger generation [and many older residents I...

And talking of scones and for all you lovers of one of the finest comedy series EVER !!!!...."STILL GAME".....remember Tam.....he won the competition with the immortal phrase....."SSSSCONE".....which is Glaswegian for "IT'S GONE".....remember Jack and Victor's faces when they realised it was...

Gothic !!!!...you have morphed into the "man with steel fingers" !!!......you sound like our favourite silent killer !!!!....did you have a "GILLIAN" at the Leek camp like Foggy did at Catterick ????????? X!

EVERYONE knows the reason the cafe opened late !!!!.....it was because Sid always offered to do "the late" shift solo....this enabled him to smuggle in his "friend" THE BUS CONDUCTRESS !!!!........ His only worry was that next morning Ivy would be inspecting all the sandwiches... the pies and...

Amos....if you pick the the Vanilla Slice you will be getting it in a BAG NOT A BOX!!!!.... because where do you think you are ?????....HARRODS !!!!!...whereas if you pick the Eclair you are guaranteed a biiiiiiig hug off Glenda......just don't call her "BRENDA" !!! or you might be wearing it...

Barry..The Brazen Head is in the Gorbals area of Glasgow.....it is STAUNCH Republican and is known as the most famous Celtic bar in the world !!!. It is an amazing place.....but very pro Irish.....anti British. A lot of people from my City say "Scouse not English".....and Scousers seem to be...

Barry...I have been bevvying down the Gallowgate and the Barras in Glasgow and the pubs have had the Republic of Ireland games on instead of Scotland games. The same goes for Bridgeton in Glasgow where they will watch England games instead of Scotland games....a staunch Rangers area. X!

Now yer talkin' Ferret !!!!!...I was always half Celtic half Everton bobble hat !!!!....[although we also had half Rangers half Everton bobbles as well !!!]..Everton were always considered the Catholic club in the City....and I am of that persuasion.....infact when we won the Cup Winners Cup in...

Captain...SHE ABSOLUTELY LOVES OUR SHOW !!!!....it is the only thing that keeps us together !!!!!!.....the only reason I don't divorce her is to make sure she is unhappy !!!!. Seriously.....we watch it together......she is [nearly] as obsessed as I am !!!!......infact she bears a striking...

Captain !!!!.....regarding Mrs.Blue....any excuse to leave home is good enough for me !!!...she was so ugly as a child she had FROSTED GLASS IN HER INCUBATOR !!!!!.. Luckily for me [or maybe unlucky for me] she is a "MOODYBLUE" as well..... so she she understands my urge to travel to a match...

I did indeed Mr.Ferret.......and just to confuse our "non football" Summerwine family members.....the flag bears the crests of BOTH EVERTON AND RANGERS !!!... Now here is where it gets a little complicated for our worldwide family......RANGERS ARE A TEAM FROM GLASCOW....SCOTLAND !!!...[I can see...

Good morning everyone...or should I say "Guten Morgen !!!".......just a little message from your Scouse roving reporter.....having just returned from Germany..... As I stated in my previous posts.......any trouble is caused by a very very tiny minority.....I witnessed approximately 65000 England...

Captain !!!!...talking of the wonderful Cisse and Ada let's not forget the equally wonderful Billy Connolly and Kenny Everett !!!......there were so funny and you could see they just loved working together......they would be laughing as they said their lines...only to be drowned out by...

Daisy..."it's not grounds for divorce being married to a Liverpool fan !!!!" Onslow "ARE YOU SURE ??????!!!!!"....I AM 100% BEHIND HIM ONN THAT ONE !!!!!!. X!

GIVE IT TO EVERTON.....SO THEY OWE A LITLLE BIT LESS.......OH...AND A FACE TRANSPLANT !!!!!. X!