Best one liners

PC Cooper;"Think of all the lousy paperwork "
2nd policeman;" You could take it home and get the wife to do it"
 
Cooper......."They cant spell!"
2nd policeman...... "I don't mind people thinking I cant spell !" ::)
 
Howard ....."Have you ever fancied something small around the house??"

Pearl..........I've got one! Trouble is ,keeping it round the house!" ::)
 
;D Clegg "He looks like Napolean after his defeat in Moscow
Compo "Bog off "
Clegg " He's picked up a bit of the language too "
 
I am going to buy Nora Batty some perfume cause all she ever uses is detergent and bathroom cleaner. :D
 
Guest Actor: There are mysterious forces which underly the universe.
Cleggy: Oh, council taxes.
 
Just to deviate briefly from LotSW, Onslow delivered a great line in Keeping up Appearances this afternoon. When Daisy asked him if he had always been faithfully to her he replied ; "Just you and about three top jockeys" :D
 
Foggy: Holding hands is not an ideal that appeals instantly to the military mind. It is not natural. Hands are for twinge and strangling. 8)
 
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