George Memorial Jokes thread
- Thread starter cornishman
- Start date
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN
Wine her,Dine her,Call her,Hug her,Hold her,Surprise her,Compliment her,Smile at her,Laugh with her,Cry with her,Cuddle with her,Shop with her,Give her jewelry,Buy her flowers,Hold her hand,Write love letters to her,Go the end of the earth and back again for her.
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
Show up naked,
Bring beer.
Wine her,Dine her,Call her,Hug her,Hold her,Surprise her,Compliment her,Smile at her,Laugh with her,Cry with her,Cuddle with her,Shop with her,Give her jewelry,Buy her flowers,Hold her hand,Write love letters to her,Go the end of the earth and back again for her.
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
Show up naked,
Bring beer.
How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don’t even know the bulb is BURNED OUT........
How d'you get marmalade off a fe
One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don’t even know the bulb is BURNED OUT........
How d'you get marmalade off a fe
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies," He said. "Oh, killed any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell? He replied,"Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
"What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies," He said. "Oh, killed any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell? He replied,"Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
Actual writings on hospital charts:
1. She has no rigors or shaking chills , but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
8. The patient refused autopsy.
9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
1. She has no rigors or shaking chills , but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
8. The patient refused autopsy.
9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
