Favourite lines from the show

Who's that mouse in the poetry group
Glenda enters the room and sees Barry standing looking out of the window thoughtfully
Glenda "I expect that's how the space project began.....a deep thinker staring through a window."
Barry "I'm going to have to get bigger underpants."
 
Will Barry go septic despite listening to classical music
Compo "Me Mam was a witch."
Truly "It sounded like witch."
 
The Love Mobile
The trio are getting a lift in Wesley's landrover
Compo "How come I always have to ride in the back?"
Clegg "You've always been the outdoor type."
Foggy "Especially indoors."
 
Exercising Father's Bicycle
Tom "My old dad died before he grew up."
Clegg "Yes....yes....he timed it just right."
 
There Goes The Groom
Compo "The former Mrs Truelove....how long were you married?"
Truly "37 years."
Clegg "Oh well if you're not going to give it a chance."
 
Walking Stiff Can Make You Famous
Compo "3 teas Ivy and 64 sticking plasters."
Ivy "Has there been an accident?"
Compo "Aye and it's name is Foggy Dewhurst."
 
Cash Flow Problems
Compo "Were you called Biff at school?"
Tailor "Biff,...when me hobby was needlework."
 
Howard Throws A Wobbler
Howard follows Pearl to a pub with the other ladies and suspects she's up to no good
"She's got no right to be in a pub....she should be at home wonndering what I'm up to."
 
Optimism in the Housing Market
Compo 'What's wrong with Nora's front?"
Truly "It looks better from the back."
 
The Second Husband and the Show Girls
Billy "By they're fine big lasses...I bet they could pull a bow."
Clegg "I bet they could pull a caravan."
 
Happy Birthday Howard
Compo is outside the cafe in a wheelchair pretending to be injured.
Nora "Poor soul...How can you leave him out there?"
Clegg "You put the brake on and walk away."
 
Why is it when there are so many wonderful things in the world does the opposite sex have to be a man

Ivy in the White Mans Grave
 
Who’s Thrown Her Tom Cruise Photographs Away?
Compo (talking about Marina) "She's threatening to wear longer skirts."
Clegg "Does she wear short skirts.......I thought she just had longer legs than most people."
 
Sinclair and the Wormley Witches
Sinclair "Keep back ! I warn you I'm wearing garlic."
Truly "If that's supposed to be a deterrent you're in trouble.We all like Italian."
Alvin "Although in the wrong hands it has a tendency to splash."
Entwistle "Why look at me?"
Truly "Cos you can make spaghetti travel further than your truck."
 
Merry Christmas Father Christmas
Seymour "How did you get this fixation for Nora Batty?"
Compo "Just lucky I suppose."
 
Merry Christmas Father Christmas
Wesley "I was just in the middle of giving me engine a tune."
Edie "You can play to it later."
 
What's Santa Brought for Nora Then?
Glenda "Where's Barry?"
Wesley "I left him under the car."
Glenda "If you knocked him down the least you can do is pick him up again."
 
Uncle of the Bride
The trio are travelling in the back of Wesley's smoke filled car.Compo coughs on Seymour.
Seymour "Does he not use a handkerchief?"
Clegg "Don't ask."
Compo takes a dirty rag from his pocket "Of course I use a handkerchief."
Clegg "There you are....I told you he used a handkerchief.....I've always wondered what for."
 
Northern Flying Circus
Compo "I'm sorry to hear about your Billy."
Annie Aubrey "Why,what's he done?"
Compo "He's dead."
Annie Aubrey "Oh Aye...I'll never get used to it."
 
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