Best one liners

[dick]

COMPO.............We could restore Norah Batty!!

CLEGGY..........You cant get the parts!

 

[dick]

You weren't brought up to go to the Unisex Hair Boutique!

Oh mother, they've got two hairdryers and a pot sink! Hardly a den of sin!!

 

[gill]

SEYMOUR. Didn't she have a limp. CLEGG. Only in the leg.

 

[dick]

Clegg.............How can you have confidence in anyone who didn't like the GOON SHOW!!

 

[Beth]

Supposing they had raped us fully clothed!!

 

[gill]

Howard is hiding in a wheelie bin. Cleggy say's. So Pearl has really thrown you out

 

[gill]

Pearl and Edie talking about Marina. Pearl say 's she wear's too much make up. Edie say ' s True but what's the point looking like you've just come back from a serious operation

 

[dick]

Follow up to that ....................
PEARL...."You tell it like it is don't you Edie??
EDIE..........Yes , especially where it will help!

 

[gill]

Compo talking about his skin. Compo say's I've stll go skin like a 21 year old. Clegg say's You've just been folding it badly

 

[dick]

Isn't it about time you had a bath ?? :cautious::geek: And lose all my natural oils?:thumbsup::sneaky:

 

[dick]

Why didn't I think of it before! A few flowers , they love a surprise!:thumbsup:

Any one who gets flowers in the state these are in is going to get a surprise!!

 

[dick]

Alvin to Entwhistle ..........There's a woman in there somewhere, I could bring her out!

Norah to Alvin ...........She's alright where she is!
Norah to Ent whistle ...........I don't want any acupuncture either!!

 

[dick]

Alvin.........I offered to wash and blow-dry her hair. I had it all worked out from this picture in a magazine. That was it that just went past!!:thumbsdown:

 

[gill]

FOGGY say's I used to think Frances Drake could of been a woman. COMPO say's I alway's thought he were

 

[dick]

CLEGGY.............Will Norah mind you taking her clothes line??

Compo.................Its her damn mangle!:cautious::sneaky:

 

[captain clutterbuck]

The Ladies:-

They say men have bigger brains , they have bigger feet but it doesn't make them dance any better

 

[dick]

What kind of bloke breaks his wife's leg just to get his hands on NORAH!!

 

[dick]

Pearl to Howard .......................You'd better come home, get yourself dried out!!:cautious:

Don't suppose we want any more of you to shrink!!

 

[brendalovescompo]

COMPO: Look at that, he's running about like a big girl

 

[dick]

Get used to being thrown out Howard! You're about to be thrown out again!!:sneaky: