Peripheral
Dedicated Member
How are you on beards? No, not you missus. I mean the fellas. I have just shaved mine off. I will now shave for the next 2 or 3 days then I will lapse. By lapse, I don't mean that I am running around the garden. The only thing that runs on me these days is my hooter. I get too idle to shave and let it grow. Day by day it gets longer and longer. My beard, not my hooter. I can cope with it for a while but, when birds start nesting in it, I know it is time to put the facial lawnmower into action. I hate shaving but I hate having a beard even more. This morning I could stand it no longer and got stuck into my personal tree felling. I had let it grow more than usual this time and twice I had to send Jack in to chase out the mice. He gets upset when I shave because he has nowhere to snuggle down and sleep. I have to vac the carpet afterwards because Victoria isn't tall enough to see over the top of my beard bits. My beard is white and looks like a snowdrift on the floor. One day she tried pushing the vac through it when she was dressed in a black jumper and black trousers, She came out looking like a panda. This morning she complained bitterly about the length of my beard. I don't know why, it wasn't as big as hers. Well, it's gone and it is now as smooth as a babies bum. All I need now is a Coronavirus nappy.