Accidentally Came Out to my Grandparents

Marina'sTwin

Marina'sTwin

Dedicated Member
Ok y'all, this is a sensitive topic. But I figured everyone here probably has grand kids or knows someone who does, so I figured maybe y'all could help me out. So basically what happened today is I was sitting on the porch talking to my grandparents because my parents want me to spend more time with them, so it started out normal enough. But then they started asking me when I was planning on settling down with a nice man and having them some great grand kids. Well without really thinking, I said "I'm not going to marry a man." And because they never really listen to me, I didn't really expect them to pick up on that. But then my grandma said "Honey, are you saying you're gay?" And it kind of caught me off guard because I really wasn't expecting her of all people to just come right out and ask me that. So I said "Well, yeah, I've been a lesbian all my life." And she said "Oh, ok." And my grandpa looked pretty shocked. I swear his eyes nearly popped out of his head, but he didn't say anything, so I just decided to change the subject. But I know they're going to say something later on when it really sinks in, so I guess what I'm asking is: do y'all think I did the right thing? Or was I totally wrong for killing their hopes of having great grand children? Because my sister has already said she's not going to have any children, so I was pretty much their last hope. And I know y'all will be mature about this topic even if it's something y'all may not agree with and y'all are kind of like my older and wiser friends, so I guess that's why I'm posting this here.
 
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Has a grandparent it wouldn't bother me a jot but its hard for people of their generation to understand what being gay means, today people just talk about it but in their day its swept under the carpet and was something to be assumed of . It may help if you explain to them about what being gay means to you, I don't mean in detail just the feelings you have and let them know its not a chose its how you were born.
 
I suppose we are who we are Holly and I guess now they are aware of the situation they will deal with it,though I suspect they may of already worked it out,they just wanted confirmation and found a way of asking you outright,it may not be as much of a shock to them as you think.
A brave thing to do and thanks for sharing
 
Apparently, they'd really like to see you settled, although you're awfully young to settle down. (This comes from someone who is old enough to be your grandmother!) It sounds as though settling with a man and giving them great-grandchildren might be a secondary concern. They probably already knew subliminally, and just wanted confirmation.

Marianna
 
This is a subject that's very close to my heart, as my son came out when he was 16. I already knew he was, i just waiting for him to tell me.
I have to say and I don't usually speak out to cause problems but why would we hate you. I find those words quite upsetting, you are pre judging us as you think others judge you.

People ask me how I feel about having a gay child, as if its something I should be ashamed/shocked about. If he was a child murdering rapist I get their gist. Otherwise I couldn't be prouder of my boy, he is an honest hardworking, lovely young man who wouldn't hurt a fly. He hasn't given me any grief his whole life.He just likes boys and not girls.
I don't think he will give me any grandchildren, but that isn't why I had children. I don't expect them to give me anything.
You have to live your life, your way. we shouldn't give birth and expect something in return.
You are your own person. You are what you are.
 
Thanks y'all, I haven't really heard from my grandparents since that event, but my mom did say that grandma wanted to invite me to church, so uh oh. Lol And minxie, as far as expecting y'all to hate me, I didn't really mean for it to come across that way...I guess it was wrong of me to put that there, I'll see if I can edit that out. I wasn't pre judging anyone or expecting anyone to hate me because I know we're all friends here. When I know I'm about to say or do something that could possibly cause problems, I say that in real life. For example if I was going to hang out with a known criminal (yes, I have done this before), I would say "Ok, mom, get ready to hate me, I'm going over to Maggie's house." I didn't really mean any harm by that, but anyway, thanks for that post. We need more people like you in the world, then there wouldn't be any discrimation problems. :)
 
I would take some comfort that there was no immediate judgemental reaction from Grandparents, even though there may have been a pause while the facts sunk in.

Interesting that your Grandmother wants to invite you to church - as long as it is an inclusive style of church you should find that there are no problems but I am sure you do not need me to remind you that there are some churches that are really negative about this: my advice is steer clear of those!

You are certainly welcome here.
 
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