Given the story content I have a slightly amusing joke about said problem . A guy is suffering terribly with that affliction which he talks to his best friend about . He tells him that an alternative cure he tried was to break open a used tea bag and to spread the tea leaves on the effected area. Anyway he tries it for a week but his condition doesn't improve so he decides to go to the doctor . After entering the consultancy room the Doctor tell him to remove his trousers and underwear and to bend over which he does . After a couple of minutes he asks the Doctor for his diagnosis who replies " Well yes there is an issue , I can see you will be going on a long journey where you will meet a raven haired lady............ "
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