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  1. barmpot

    Tea Time questions.

    Breakfast first thing Elevenses mid morning to keep one going Luncheon about 12.30 Afternoon tea about 4 Dinner about 7 Nightcap about 11 when I lived in a Castle (can prove this as I have arriving license with it as my address somewhere) Until recently it was tea and tablets when I GOT UP...
  2. barmpot

    If there were missing episodes of Last of the Summer Wine...

    If you compare the scripts for the pilot and first series (seven in all) which were published in a paperback there are differences to the actual filmed material. So the idea of a book with new material would work - and also you could allow Foggy to come back and even Blamire (they knew each...
  3. barmpot

    Glenda in her leathers

    Yes I think we have been both in the naughty seat for our liking this particular portion ....
  4. barmpot

    jokes bad or otherwise.

    As a young married couple, a husband and a wife lived in a cheap housing complex near the military base where he was working. Their chief complaint was that the walls were paper-thin and that they had no privacy. This was painfully obvious when one morning the husband was upstairs and the wife...
  5. barmpot

    jokes bad or otherwise.

    HUSBAND: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger? WIFE: I clean the toilet. HUSBAND: How does that help? WIFE: I use your toothbrush.
  6. barmpot

    jokes bad or otherwise.

    "I'm prescribing these pills for you," said the doctor to the overweight patient who wanted to lose weight without exercising. "I don't want you to swallow them. Just spill them on the floor twice a day and pick them up, one at a time."
  7. barmpot

    jokes bad or otherwise.

    If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're likely built upside down.
  8. barmpot

    jokes bad or otherwise.

    Buy your thermometers in the wintertime. They're much lower then.
  9. barmpot

    jokes bad or otherwise.

    Question on Economics Exam: "In any given year, and to the nearest ton, how much wheat did the United States export?" Smart answer: "In 1492, none."
  10. barmpot

    jokes bad or otherwise.

    Me: I taught my dog to play chess. Friend: He must be very smart? Me: Not really, I beat him two games out of three.
  11. barmpot

    jokes bad or otherwise.

    George was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is...
  12. barmpot

    jokes bad or otherwise.

    Sam: Do you know the difference between a guest towel and toilet paper? Bob: No... Sam: In that case, don't use our bathroom.
  13. barmpot

    Summer Wine A-Z Game

    Loxley Lozenge -
  14. barmpot

    Railway Humour

    Interestingly somebody I know commented that the trains in southern Spain are not slowing down for the heat! ~ we do not plan for extremes it seems.
  15. barmpot

    Growing up in U.K. in the 50s/60s

    Yes silver thrupenny bits had ceased to be minted and modern 'silver' coinage had a nickel content which is not too good for cooking! Which is why foil (probably aluminium) would be used to cover anything else such as the newer thrupenny bits with twelve sides as they had quite a high nickel...
  16. barmpot

    An announcement

    It is ten feet high by fifteen feet by nine feet and is built under the rest of the house at the bottom of the hillside. And another storage area only six feet high to one side part way up. Think we could lose a few people here ...
  17. barmpot

    Hey up Barmpot.

    Everything is fine but do not log on every day as there is work to be done in the new abode. Creating a new library and removing hundreds of picture frames - Shelagh is a professional painter - as well as keeping up with community railways which often sees me taking people on trips to Morecambe...
  18. barmpot

    jokes bad or otherwise.

    The morning of the big parade, a man and a little boy entered a barber shop together. "Give me the full treatment," the man said. "I want to look good in the parade!" After the man received a shave, manicure, and haircut, he placed the boy in the chair. "I'm going to buy a new tie to wear for...
  19. barmpot

    jokes bad or otherwise.

    She wouldn't try so hard to conceal her age if her husband would act his.
  20. barmpot

    jokes bad or otherwise.

    A grandmother took her little grandson to the beach. They were having a good time until a huge wave came in and swept the boy out to sea! The grandmother fell on her knees and cried to the heavens: "Please, Lord, return my grandson! Please! PLEASE!!!" Lo and behold, a wave swelled from the...
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