jokes bad or otherwise.

I was walking home last night when I saw a sign saying "BAD"
I thought to myself......'That's not a good sign.'
 
Scientists in the USA revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, they fed twelve pints of beer to 100 men and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.
 
::) What is a calorie?? A calorie is the little swine that creeps into your wardrobe at night,and sews your clothes tighter!! ::)
MY WARDROBE IS FULL OF 'EM!! ;D
 
??? I was in the cemetery and saw 6 men carrying a coffin from grave to grave.Two hours later they were still at it. Seemed obvious that they had lost the plot ;)
 
:) The govt say that in extreme weather you should be well wrapped up,carry a signal light , a blanket and a shovel .Also a mobile phone and a flask of tea. I felt such a twerp on the bus this morning!! ::)
 
:) The govt say that in extreme weather you should be well wrapped up,carry a signal light , a blanket and a shovel .Also a mobile phone and a flask of tea. I felt such a twerp on the bus this morning!! ::)

Are you suffering withdrawal symptoms because the Chronicle Forum is currently down/malfunctioning, Sir Coff?
 
A man said to his wife, "You should go out without a bra more often."
"Ooh, does it make me look sexy?" she giggled.
"Not at all, but it doesn't half pull the wrinkles out of your face."
 
A teacher asks her class for their homework.
A kid hands in a blank piece of paper.
Teacher: 'What's this?'
Kid: 'It's a drawing of a cow eating grass'.
Teacher: 'Where's the grass?'
Kid: 'The cow ate it all'
Teacher: 'Where's the cow?'
Kid: 'It left because there was no more grass.'
 
The barman says, "We don't serve time travelers in here".
A time traveler walks into a bar.
 
A young lad asked his dad if it was okay to smoke in the rain.
His dad said "Of course it is. Just don't in hail."
 
My crippling addiction to hallucinogens really takes a back seat to
my unicorn infestation problem.
 
I was in a cannibal Take-away.
I said, 'I'll have the bicep, elbow, lower arm and a wrist please?'
He gave it over to me but I had trouble carrying it.
He asked, 'Do you want a hand with that?'
I said, 'Nah, this should be enough thanks.'
 
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