jokes bad or otherwise.

Alan Hansen once said, "You'll never win anything with kids".
I thought "Give us a break. It's an under 12's team"
 
What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?
Roberto. ( God,I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel now)
 
I finally got my own back for Christmas shopping: I took my wife into
eight different pubs without getting a drink and then went back into
the first one and bought a pint.
 
A man went into a chemists and asked for a box of Viagra.
The pharmacist said "have you got a prescription?
"The man took out a picture of his wife and said "will that do?"
 
I've just done my bit for the environment.
I've just recycled back to the shop, 'cause I forgot the beer.
 
"How depressing, it's so cold and grey", said the wife.
"Well it is January" I replied ... then I noticed the dead elephant
lying in our front room.
 
I told my wife that I found her even more attractive than my stamp
collection.
She told me that philately will get me nowhere.
 
Man: What are you doing?
Blonde: Tying this rope around my waist!
Man: What for?
Blonde: I'm committing suicide!
Man: Well, shouldn't it be around your neck?
Blonde: Yeah, I tried that... But I couldn't breathe.
 
My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 5 hours to
hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.
 
My wife was walking naked form the bathroom to the bedroom, when a
ghostly figure appeared in front of her.
"It was horrific, the most terrifying thing I've ever seen." said
the ghost.
 
George said:
My wife was walking naked form the bathroom to the bedroom, when a
ghostly figure appeared in front of her.
"It was horrific, the most terrifying thing I've ever seen." said
the ghost.
Click to expand...

25r30wi.gif
 
I was just washing my hands in the men's toilets, when I thought to
myself;
"I should probably be using the sink..."
 
If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous
countries not talking to each other.
 
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