jokes bad or otherwise.

War is when the government tell you who the bad guys are.Revolution
is when you decide yourself.
 
A beggar asked a man for some money claiming to be blind."How do I
know you are blind?" asked the man."You see that tree over there?"
the beggar said. "Yes" replied the man."I can't" said the beggar.
 
An old man of 86 says to his Doctor " Every time I make love my legs
go weak and I can hardly catch my breath."
The Doctor said: "These things tend to happen to a man of your age,
when did you first notice these symptoms?" The old man replied: "3
times last night, and twice again this morning!"
 
During Antiques Roadshow, I looked at the 19th century mahogany
chest of drawers in the corner of my living room and thought:
"Maybe that's where the remote is."
 
Two men called at my door and asked what bread I eat. When I said
"White" they lectured about brown bread for 30minutes - Turns out
they were Hovis' witnesses
 
I spent some time by the wifes grave today and she doesnt know.
She thinks i'm digging a pond...
 
I was busy rolling a cigarette on my way home from the pub last night
when I suddenly thought,
"It's got to be quicker to pick it up and carry it!"
 
Random vegetables keep appearing all over the house. Now my wife tells
me there's a leek in the toilet.
 
A cowboy meets up with a native Indian.
"I am Chief Sitting Bull, and this is my wife, Five Horses."
"Five Horses." said the cowboy, "That's an unusual name, what does
it mean?"
The Indian replies. "Nag Nag Nag Nag Nag."
 
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's
the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear
of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That
driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and
tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
 
Well it made me laugh

Volvo.jpg
 
i will never forget what my dear father said to me just before he kicked the bucket.

he said 'son, how far do you think i can kick this bucket?'
 
A dog goes into a hardware shop and says: "I"d like a job please".
The hardware store owner says: "We don"t hire dogs, why don"t you
go join the circus?" The dog replies: "What would the circus want
with a plumber?"
 
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