jokes bad or otherwise.

Apple are releasing a new device which will benefit the people in the floods..........

The iPaddle
 
Yes the hose pipe ban is over.. It was lifted yesterday.. Water Companies say "USE AS MUCH AS YOU LIKE AS WE NEED TO GET RID OFF AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE"
 
'I passed Uncle Albert on the street and asked him 'Excuse me, what is the cheapest computer around?'. He answered 'You want DELL, boy.' ;D
 
If guns don't kill people, people do.
Does that mean that toasters don't toast toast, toast toasts toast.
 
I've just fixed the radio at work that had been broken for months, my mates were ecstatic.
You should have heard the reception I got.
 
A judge enters the courtroom, strikes the gavel, and says, "Before I begin this trial, I have an announcement to make.

"The lawyer for the defence has paid me £15,000 to swing the case his way. The lawyer for the plaintiff has paid me £$10,000 to swing the case her way.

"In order to make this a fair trial, I am returning £5,000 to the defence."
 
To keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that worships him and a cat that ignores him.
 
My wife wanted me to start taking cod liver oil for my health, but I thought there was something fishy about the whole idea.
 
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